Everyone is trying to kill us... including us.

Wowee...

The word that best describes the last few months for me could be:

Overwhelming.

Starting in August we went to MN for our trip home.  Although it is so awesome to see and spend time with my family, and all of our adventures were awesome - it is just that strong reminder that we are not where we want to be geographically.  We want to be in MN.  I want to be closer to family and I miss them all so terribly.  Homesick is an understatement for me.  Leading up to that trip I was focused on my goals because I had an event/date to work towards.  However, when we returned home both D and I were overwhelmed

Amazing things are happening!

Never fear, I'm still here.  =)

There are some really amazing things happening right now in my life.  I want to do a ton of writing and updates, but it just isn't in the cards just yet.  So if you are reading this now - have patience my pretties.. muhahaha

If you are reading this later.. lucky duck.. even I wish I could fast forward to see all of the things that are about to come....

My patience is tested every second with excitement and anticipation...


=)

More to come..

Biggest Loser - Season 10 - Episode 2

Biggest Loser - Season 10 - Week 2 - SPOILER ALERT

14 arrive at the campus.

Lisa, 31 - Stay At Home Mom
"Every pound hides a piece of who I used to be and who I know I am deep on the inside. Part of the reason I am here is to find myself again."

++++++++++++ 

The contestants meet Allison Sweeny.

Yellow Team is introduced.  Bob and Jillian are each allowed to pick one person who didn't make it onto the ranch.

They are given second chances. =)

Bob picked Aaron so he could make his son proud and Jillian picked the asthmatic Elizabeth who kept going until she passed out and lost the challenge for the yellow team.

Allison reminds them, even though they have colored shirts that match

Biggest Loser - Season 1

Not only are hubby and I watching the current Biggest Loser - Season 10 which just started last week.  We are also going through all of the other seasons. =)

We just stated and we are in Episode 3 of Season 1.  So if you never watched they had the two teams with Bob and Jillian but they were called the Eat More and Eat Less teams.

In Week 1 they all had great losses, but Jillian's team definitely did more and more intense workouts than Bob's team.  The most that was lost was 20+ lbs in the first week.  In Week 2 they had from +3 to -7 I think was the most - but most were at 0, 1, 2lb losses across both teams.

In Week 3 Jillian talks to her team about how they are all going to plateau.  How their bodies are going into

I Am Killing My To Do Lists

While I was preparing The Big FIVE post, I was adding a few details to each of the Big Five and I wrote the line "joyfully marking things off of your to do list" in the category of "schedule time for yourself to do things you enjoy".

I stopped.

I don't enjoy my to do list.  That todolist.txt file on my desktop never ends.  We even have a Basecamp account for a collection of all of our to do lists across our life.  None of them ever get short enough that I feel

The Big FIVE

Trying to lose weight?  Generally how you manage the big five will have huge impacts on your success of losing it, but also keeping it off.


How are you doing with the big FIVE?

FUEL BALANCE
1. Eating every 3-4 hours to keep your body fueled evenly throughout the day.  Eat your heavier fats and carbs early in the day with a protein (see next one) so you are highly fueled to get through your day and can

Shootin' for that 5%

Statistic:  Only 5% of people who lose more than 10% of their body weight retain that loss after 5 years.

That is horrible.

What does that mean?

Does that mean that 95% of the people are incapable of keeping it off?  That if they just worked out a little more, or just ate a little less, they could remain in the 5% category or increase the percentages?  One of the big eye openers, and areas of forgiveness within myself is to find out that my weight is a factor of dozens of

Let's Learn About: Your OMENTUM

Your OMENTUM is like the stomach's outdoor parking lot.  Normally there are four double rows to this parking lot.  Your Omentum's job is to temporarily park fat for energy when it senses you have elevated stress levels.  It interprets that to mean that the tiger is lurking near and if you need to make a break for it, it will park fat right here in the lot right outside the stomach to draw from for immediate energy (rather than that far away stored fat on your thighs) and it will use that to provide you the fuel you will need to get away.

So under constant stress, it never clears the parking lot.  It keeps storing more fat in the lot (building

Note to that voice in my head...

I'm not trying to win a race.  I don't have to be a certain weight by a certain date.

I am focusing on finding ways to incorporate health and fitness into my daily routine in a way that gets me to and maintains my body at a healthy for me weight.

I want to lose this weight SLOWLY as to reduce any health risks that I may have if I try to lose this too quickly.

I will allow myself to have time to defrag and allow my body to readjust itself during the week of my comma and give myself a break as I am emotionally in a different place than normal and I do have to take that

The Biggest Loser is BACK! Season 10 Begins - Episode 1

BIGGEST LOSER SEASON 10 - EPISODE 1 SPOILER ALERT

In my electronic files I have over 40 pages of information that I cultivated just the last two seasons of The Biggest Loser.  Things to eat, exercise numbers (Jillian yelling I want to see incline 4 at speed 4 NOW!), exercises, challenges, etc.  I have learned SO MUCH from this show that has helped me be successful in my journey thus far, and now after watching Episode 1, I know that Season 10 will continue to inspire and educate me on my own journey.  I watched the 3 minute Season preview and I cried from almost the moment

Today's Fitness

Trying to stay on schedule with fitness.  It is still one of the areas that I haven't worked all the way through. =)

Today I did 5 minute treadmill warmup

5 minutes stretching

30 minutes bike

Not feeling "satisfied" or "good" about this.  Going to explore that thought process - something is awry in my thinking. =)

Vacation is over.. time to get back on track =)

We had a blast in Minnesota!

The first few days at home I felt great.  Energized and ready to continue on our quest to get to MN and move on to the next phase of our business.

Then as the days go by, and things that you set out to do don't get done, and more days pass with no workouts.. blah blah blah becomes our life again.

I think that both D and I were so bummed to be coming home we actually got into a funk.  Into a blah routine

The same as quitting smoking..

Your food and nutrition choices can reduce your risk of cancer - the same as quitting smoking.  If you eat optimally 30 - 60% of cancers can be prevented.

The same as quitting smoking.


The SAME as quitting smoking.

Amazing.

MN Renissance Festival - 4.8 Miles

The MN Renissance Festival is set in the middle of the forest with huge permanent buildings that reside there year 'round.  Costumes/Street Clothes are about 50/50 for the visitors.  I love theatrical Minnesotans. =)



At the entrance to the Ren Fest. 

Happy Fairy

My Happy Beer Fairies

MN Trip - Dominoes is a very serious game.

Aunt Jan, Uncle Larry, Cousin Bob, Hubby D, Niece Kate. 

MN State Fair - 3.9 Miles

On Wednesday we went to the MN State Fair where all kinds of food can be found on a stick or deep fried.  I won't torture you with what we ate while we were there - but it was all pretty good. =)

The MN State Fair is huge.  They grow items on the grounds that I always find really impressive.  I was amazed at the height of the sunflowers this year.  If you notice that woman in the background, she is just over the height of the fence.  Crazy Sunflowers. =)

The building with robots was pretty cool.  We were impressed with the tire set on this unit and a few others.  The wheels are made up of smaller wheels that are on rotating casters - very cool!

One of them even had written in marker on the side:
"All your           belong to us"

On the bar below it are mechanical components from almost every sci fi movie/show we have seen.  Flux Capacitator. =)

We heard that the MN State Fair is only beat in size by the TX State Fair.  This is just ONE road of people.















That evening we had the opportunity to attend the Weird Al concert at the MN State Fair.  Just like the showman he is he had video clips, costume changes and put on an awesome show.  D laughed through the entire concert. =)

White and Nerdy

My White & Indian and Nerdy =)

Fireworks from our seat when the show was over.  Couldn't be more perfect.  I was so happy to have my best two peeps with me at such an amazing day/night.  =)

Thanks =)

MN Trip - Walk around the lake - 5.1 Miles

The month before we left for MN my routine started to fall apart.  I was focused on our trip, our business, getting ready to be gone for 10 days takes some prep. =)  I was drinking less water, sleeping less, not spending my time on ME at all.  I would gain and lose the same 6lbs over and over again throughout the month.

When I arrived in MN it was time to reset focus and start thinking about me again.

My aunt and I head out Monday morning for a walk.  She takes their two small dogs and one has a hard time walking far due to her age and so my aunt walks in loops.  Walk a blocks distance on the trail, then turn around, walk back, then turn around and walk back moving slowly down the trail.  This is fine for the one deciding when we are turning, but for the follower this can be alarming each time we turn.  I finally decide I need to break away from this loop de loop pack and head out on my own.  I have my cell phone - if I get lost I have Maps on the phone. =)

Shortly into my walk I come across this in the gutter next to where I am walking.  Road kill.  Yeah this is kinda gross but definitely struck me in that moment as I am walking to save my life - this is where we all go.  My eventual destination won't be much different than this little former creature.  Keep walking.

On the far side of the lake there is a public access area.  There is a crane in the middle of the floating walkway.

This is the view from the water's edge - I am halfway done with my walk.  I feel so alive! =)

In the end I walked around the entire lake - 5.1 Miles.  This is the farthest I have walked at one time.  It felt so great to be out in the beautiful fresh MN air. =)

 

I felt so awesome being physical active again when I got back I headed up to the Maple Grove pool for 30 minutes of laps.

I ended up getting a blister on my foot.  Wow my feet look really dry. =)

Not bad for the start of a vacation.

SparkPeople.com

I was really having a good time on The Biggest Loser Club site.  The community there is fantastic!  Boot Camps, Challenges constantly starting, archives of articles, exercise video demonstrations and the food database and ability to make changes was pretty good.

However, for a pay site - it really is lacking.  Given that we create web promotional sites for a living and I know how much it costs to implement/update tools, it was clear that the site hasn't had an updated much since its launch several years ago.  It was discouraging at times to try to explain to newbies how to get to their

"AFTER" Photos..

Yesterday was a big day for me!  I posed nude for my "AFTER" photos with Dr. Forman. =)

As a reminder if you aren't aware.  In April 2009 I had a panniculectomy surgery.  You can google it for pics of you choose. =)  This removed the excess skin from my lower abdomen after my weight loss from a stomach reduction in May of 2000.  Having that removed reshaped my entire torso as well as it now allows me to be way more physically active than I was before... all of the progress posted here. =)

In preparation for my appointment, I wrote him a letter thanking him for his expert efforts and care of me during and post surgery.  I knew I wasn't going to be able to say what I wanted to say in a clear manner without bawling like a baby, and so it was easier to write it in a note. =)

The voices in my head were all chatty on the way over to my appointment:

Voice 1 - You know, think about all the times you came here to get dead skin cut off week after week.  Remember that time you went to his office and said, "I feel sad!" and he said, "Oh really.. you would have thought you would be showing off your new body to everyone by now and instead you have a huge gaping hole on the front of you.. you think you might feel sad?" All with his cutey cute Jason Bateman smile...

Voice 2 - He did up your pain meds and happy pills at that appointment and that certainly helped.

Voice 1 - I have come a really long way since then.  I am so grateful to have chosen to do this for myself. 

*tears start coming*

Voice 2 - Now WHY do the happy events in your life always make you cry?  This is a HAPPY event.. stop crying.  You are gonna be all puffy for your after photos.

Voice 1 - Maybe I cry because I don't think that I deserve this happiness.

Voice 2 - Well that is what you are gonna think now isn't it?  I don't really think that we are in a clear mental state right now to be making psychological assessments on the motivation of your tears.

Bottom line, this is a happy moment in your life.. be HAPPY for it rather than crying your way through it as though you don't deserve to be happy.

*Ok Voice 2 has a point I will have to consider again later, but for now I turn up Black Eyed Peas to drown out all of their voices*

Imma be takin them pics, lookin' all fly and shit
Imma be the flyest chick, so fly
Imma be spreadin' my wings
Imma be doin' my thang, do it, do it, okay


I get to the appointment and I am a few minutes early.  I end up waiting about 45 minutes in the lobby and during that time the voices in my head are all talking.. but I am trying to drown them out and just spend my time stretching.  I get so overzealous in my stretching I almost throw out a muscle area in my back.  Reeeeeeeeelax Lorelei. =)

I finally get in to see him and he is amazed at my progress - the food, the exercise, and my mental attitude.  We talk a little about what I have been doing, and what I can plan for in the future.  Then, for only the second time in my life, I pose naked for full body photos.  We look at my "BEFORE" photos again and it is really amazing the difference in my overall shape, my posture, my muscles. =)

It has been a long, but very successful journey since April of 2009.  I have learned so much about myself, my body, my health, my mind..  I am so grateful to have met Dr. Forman and made the choice for this surgery. 

As I have mentioned before I can't thank Kate or my hubby enough.  Months of taking on all of the household responsibilities, the work responsibilities and everything - PLUS taking care of me while I recovered.  I am forever grateful! =)

It changed my life! =)

How much profit can someone make off of a day of your life?

The other day I saw a commercial for Pop Tarts.  Have a happier summer when you take a pop tart, break it in half and put ice cream in between the halves and serve that to your children.  Other treat options include bowls of ice cream that have a pop tart shoved in the bowl.

This spawned my search to find a national organization that helps the parents of overweight kids.  I had learned on Dr. Oz that all of our fat cells are developed as children, and so overweight children can produce twice as many fat cells as their fit counterparts.  It is like a life sentence to obesity for these kids.  I was unable to find any resources, so I posted something to my Facebook page.

Always fantastically resourceful Eileen shared with me the link for Michelle Obama's initiative for Let's Move.gov - America's Move to Raise a Healthier Generation of Kids.  I love this description:  A nationwide initiative to promote making healthy choices, improving food quality in schools, increasing access to healthy, affordable food, and increasing physical activity for a healthier generation of kids.

Beautiful!

And just in time!  Tonight we are watching a Colbert rerun and see that Friendly's... isn't so friendly to your health, your heart or your longevity.  Let me introduce you to the Grilled Cheese BurgerMelt:

I entered the basic ingredients into my Biggest Loser menu plan to see what could be in a simply made version of that sandwich.  The actual sandwich may have more or less calories.

The sandwich is almost the calories for an entire day of nutrition.  Add some fries, and of course, since you are at Friendly's, some BASIC ice cream (1 cup vanilla with chocolate sauce) and the calories soar and the sodium significantly increases:

The pursuit of profits at the expense of your life are not beyond anyone.. even a company named Friendly's.

Make a better choice. =)

**** This is where this post originally ended.

Ten minutes after I hit publish on this, I am on Facebook and a friend has posted this link:

You can read the article here:  http://www.nrn.com/article/carls-jr-tests-foot-long-cheeseburger

The one that I had seen, but forgot about is the KFC Double Down


In the article above it says, "The foot-long cheeseburger is the latest in a string of envelope-pushing sandwiches on the market..." 

I disagree.

I think that we ate the envelope a long time ago.

I'm AWAKE! I'm AWAKE!

Evanescence - Wake Me Up Inside

This song is on my workout play list.  For just the last couple of workouts this song makes me cry every time it plays.  Considering it is third in a playlist of 19 on my current workout CD - that can be pretty debilitating or quite the struggle to move through very early on in a workout. =)


WAKE ME UP INSIDE. 

This has been part of my workout routine since the first day.  I would sing along with this song during the first few days of being on that treadmill and gasping and crying after 10 - 12 minutes when I first started. 

CALL MY NAME AND SAVE ME FROM THE DARK.

When I started this song was like a dedication from the inside me to the outside me.  The real me way deep down.  It was my responsibility to wake me up inside - and pull out the girl that is down under.. down inside all of this flesh.


I'VE BEEN SLEEPING FOR A THOUSAND YEARS IT SEEMS.  
I'VE GOT TO OPEN MY EYES TO EVERYTHING. 

BRING ME TO LIFE.

Well I have heard the wake up call.  Right as this song was playing during my workout I decided.. I am going to complete my first 5k on the treadmill!  So I did! =)

This makes me an official athlete right? =)

My time was 60:33.  Being this is only the second time I have attempted to complete it, I am SOOOOOOOO GLAD that I just finished.  I assure you, it wasn't pretty at times.  There were some moments of cussing and moments I swore I was gonna give up - but once I got half way through I figured I would have to get this far again to be half way done - so why not just finish it now.

When I started on April 10th, I could only do 30-minute miles and no way I could have done 3.1 of them in the same session without stopping. =)

Having accomplished this, I feel that this is a perfect time to retire this song.

I am AWAKE!


Thank you Evanescence for this song that helped ME do exactly exactly that.. Wake Me Up Inside. =)


Evanescence - Wake Me Up Inside

How can you see into my eyes
Like open doors?
Lading you down into my core,
Where I've become so numb.

Without a soul,
My spirit's sleeping somewhere cold,
Until you find it there and lead it back
Home.

(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside.
(I can't wake up)
Wake me up inside.
(Save me)
Call my name and save me from the dark.
(Wake me up)
Bid my blood to run.
(I can't wake up)
Before I come undone.
(Save me)
Save me from the nothing I've become.

Now that I know what I'm without,
You can't just leave me.
Breathe into me and make me real.
Bring me to life.

(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside.
(I can't wake up)
Wake me up inside.
(Save me)
Call my name and save me from the dark.
(Wake me up)
Bid my blood to run.
(I can't wake up)
Before I come undone.
(Save me)
Save me from the nothing I've become.

Bring me to life.
(I've been living a lie.
There's nothing inside)
Bring me to life.

Frozen inside without your touch,
Without your love, darling.
Only you are the life among the dead.

(All of this sight,
I can't believe I couldn't see
Kept in the dark
but you were there in front of me)
I've been sleeping a 1000 years it seems.
I've got to open my eyes to everything.
(Without a thought
Without a voice
Without a soul
Don't let me die here.
There must be something more).
Bring me to life.

(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside.
(I can't wake up)
Wake me up inside.
(Save me)
Call my name and save me from the dark.
(Wake me up)
Bid my blood to run.
(I can't wake up)
Before I come undone.
(Save me)
Save me from the nothing I've become.

Bring me to life.
(I've been living a lie. There's nothing inside)
Bring me to life

=)

For those keeping score..

Friday's are our weigh in for the boot camp that I participate in on the Biggest Loser Club website.

As of this morning, I am down 6 lbs this week to 263 starting from 298 on 4/10/10.

That is 17 lbs less than my high school graduation.  That is 117 lbs less than my highest weight.

At 255 I will be out of the "morbidly obese" category and into the "obese" category.  Never thought I would be excited to be just "obese". =)

WOOT!

ROCK that body!

It's amazing the things we do to trick ourselves into doing what we need to do.

Yesterday I was focusing on strength training.  Core and Arms.   I was on the floor, on the mat, on my back and I intended to do some crunches. 

After being laid up for a majority of last year on pain medication, and the surgery I had, my abs need some work.  I have already worked out for an hour.. and this is around the last 17 minutes or so of my current mix workout CD.  I tell myself to do crunches.  Just do it.  My body doesn't move.  It  doesn't even attempt to get into the position to do a crunch.

Oh.. I have seen these moments on the show all the time.  However I know for a fact when the Biggest Loser contestants get to this point, they have had their ass royally kicked.  I have done a good workout, but I am definitely not dying.  

So just do them.  

Get through 10.. just 10.  

Nope.  Not budging.

Just then the Black Eyed Peas song "Rock that Body" comes on and I hear that one voice in my say "OK since you won't move, now you have to do a crunch every time they say "ROCK" in this song.  The other voice starts to say, "are you effin' crazy.." but the word "ROCK" already has me like 7 crunches behind in the first few seconds of the song.

I get started.

"Oh.. aren't you a smarty.. picking the word ROCK.  How you liking it now?!

"Shut up and do these crunches.  Focus on what you are doing."

Rock that body.. come on come on now Rock that body..

In the end the song is about 5 minutes and has 59 "ROCK"s in the song.  I did em.  All of em and a few more for extra for good measure.

I have the power in my mind to be the slouch on the couch, or the Jillian in my head.  Sometimes, I am both.  When I am able to motivate myself through something the empowerment that comes from that is almost addicting.  I loved being able to trick my mind into doing something b/c it is tied to something else.  Once I had said that in my head I definitely wasn't going back on my word and so I got it done. =)

ROCK that body!

What's for lunch?

1 cup Squash Soup

6oz Chicken Breast

1 cup Raspberries

1 serving Greek Style Yogurt

RECIPE: Creamy Squash Soup

CREAMY SQUASH SOUP

This thick, creamy soup is great as a veggie serving, and goes great with the chicken cubed up and put in it below.

2 Medium Butternut Squash - skin removed, cubed
1 Medium Acorn Squash - skin removed, cubed
2 Sweet Potatoes (Approx. 5") - skin removed, cubed
3 cups carrots - diced in thick slices
3 cloves Elephant Garlic, or 6 of the regular garlic
Note:  Regulate this depending on how much you like garlic.  Everything else in here is very bland, so you can't really go overboard.

6 Vegetable Bouillon Cubes
2 Chicken Bouillon Cubes
Enough water to cover everything.  I put in 14 cups of water.

Yield:  18 cups of soup
YUP.. so scale down if you don't want that much or have that much freezer space.

After chopping all ingredients and placing them in a huge stock pot.  On High, bring everything up to a boil, then turn to Low and simmer until everything is mushy - stirring often.  My HUGE stock pot took about an hour to cook everything above on my stove top.

Turn off the heat and leave it for about another hour, stirring occasionally.  As soon as you feel it isn't too hot to melt your blender or any type of blender device.  I used a hand blender right in the pot and then rinse and wash with COLD water before I wash it so it doesn't stain the wand - but that is why I wait until it is cooled off quite a bit. =)

After fully blended you can divide them into one or two cup servings in bags or containers and put in the freezer taking them out the night before you want to eat them and they will keep in the fridge for several days.

In half of the latest batch I added some of this oh so yummy stuff: 

Thai Kitchen Organic Lite Coconut Milk

RECIPE: Mrs. Dash Chicken Breast

EASY CHICKEN BREASTS

Remove all fat from the breasts and separate tenderloins from the breast if they are not already.  I get my chicken breasts from the Bethesda Womens Farmers Market on Saturday's from the meat guy.  They taste amazing.

Also, I realized that I really overcooked chicken breasts in the past.  Here are my current chicken breast cooking techniques:

Stove Top:
Start with a hot pan with Extra Virgin Olive Oil coating the bottom.  Place the breasts pretty side down in the pan and turn down to medium and allow to cook for 7 minutes.  Then flip and cook for another 7 minutes.  Cover, and turn the heat to low and allow to "steam" for another 4 minutes.  Turn off heat and remove from burner.  Let the breasts rest for at least 15 minutes before you cut into them.  If you cut into them while they are really hot, all of the juice will run out and they will be dry.


Oven:
Place breasts on the bottom of a pyrex type pan treated with a bit of olive oil wiped on the bottom.  Sprinkle No Salt Mrs. Dash (flavor of your choice) on the top.  Bake at 350 degrees for 20-25 minutes.  Let the breasts rest for at least 15 minutes before you cut into them.  If you cut into them while they are really hot, all of the juice will run out and they will be dry.

The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me. (Ayn Rand)

I weighed myself this morning. =)

I normally never weigh in during the week.  We have a scheduled weigh in with the boot camp that I am participating in and that happens on Friday morning and I usually just weigh in once per week for that.

However, after the gain earlier this week, and now a few days of being back into the routine, I wanted to see if it had paid off on the scale to get a little bit of an oomph in the motivation department.

I am back down to 265.8 from being at 269 last Friday morning.   WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!

So a week of being off the plan and a 4lb gain can be corrected at this stage in just three days of being back in my routine and focused on my milestones.

Speaking of milestones, there is a big one for me coming up.  On 7/22 I have my final follow up appt with Dr. Forman.  My cosmetic surgeon/doctor Dr. Douglas Forman was FANTASTIC.  His Jason Bateman looks means he can give you any news or information and he is still just so cute and lovable.  Don't believe me, check out his picture on their website here.  He is the cute one on the right. =)

In March/April 2009 I quit smoking, and underwent a procedure called a panniculectomy.  This procedure removes the excess skin from the front of the abdomen.  You may be thinking "tummy tuck" but this is more extensive than that.  In a panniculectomy a major amount of skin is being removed.

If you are grossed out by medical descriptions and procedures and complications - you might want to skip the rest of this article. =)

In a panniculectomy an incision is made from hip to hip running in the front of the body at the pubic line.  The skin tissue and fat are peeled back from the abdominal muscles almost up to the breast line.  A circle is cut around the belly button and it is left in place - of course.  Then Dr. Forman did a shoelace type stitch across the center of the muscles of the abdomen to help tighten and flatten them out.  He then cuts away fat from the inside of the abdominal tissue to even and smooth it out.  Then he pulls the skin/tissue back down, cuts a new hole for my belly button, and cuts off the excess skin/fat, reattaching everything at the cut line along the front.  It is CRAZY what surgeons can do with the human body. =)

Look at my cute new belly button from my viewpoint!  You can see the tiny scar line around the belly button where he pulled it through and reattached it in its new home.  So CUTE compared to the old presentation of my belly button. =)

He took off over 25lbs that day in surgery.  I went from 303 to 275.  I was SO happy to have it gone.  That apron prevented me from fitting normally into pants.  That apron prevented me from working out properly because it literally SAT on my legs and thus my legs would have to lift it each time I walked, or biked or did anything.  That apron made me want to be inactive b/c I didn't like sweating, and it put me at higher risk of sores if I let it get too hot or sweaty.  I felt so liberated to have it GONE!
 
However, it wasn't an easy recovery.

The surgery was on 4/10/09 and within just a few days we noticed some complications.  Due to my weight AND my history with smoking I wasn't healing correctly.  The tissue at the incision line (that goes from around the back of my hip, across the front of my pubic line, then all the way around to the other side of the hip) right in front was starting to die off.  Did you know that the center of your abdomen is one of the last places that you receive blood from the heart?  Other than blood clots, that is the main reason that surgeons want you up and walking around right after any type of abdominal surgery.  It is to get the heart pumping hard enough to get the blood to make it to your center abdominal core to help the healing and recovery process.

The tissue continued to die off and continued to die off.  It took from April 10th to about the early part of June for it to stop dying and to the point where we finally had the wound all cleaned with only healthy tissue that was healing.  At this stage I had a hole on the front of me that I could  put both of my fists into with room to spare if I wanted.  It made all three of us completely rethink the human body, how it is put together and everything.  Recovery was brutal.  That was not only one of the hardest things I have ever gone through, but Kate and hubby were AMAZING.  They covered all the work, all the housework, taking care of the dogs AND taking care of me for over HALF A YEAR.

Black dying tissue, Silvadene packed into the wound, with clean out twice a day.  Then saline soaked gauze packed into the wound cleaning that out four times a day.  It was all D.  He did all of it.  If hubby hadn't been as amazing as he was - I can't even imagine the complications, or the end result I would have had without his diligence.  Plus, Dr. Forman was fantastic too.  He never charged me anything through all of the weekly visits, the complications, the crying, the pain meds.  He was patient, funny, helpful and real about my situation and that made it so much easier for me.

Until almost the end of August I was home bound.  We barely went anywhere because I had a huge HOLE on the front of my body.  I was finally fully healed around the end of September, and then started to work my way back physically.  I had been in bed since April.  I was even more out of shape, had swelling and abdominal pain with the most simple of movements.

I had my last follow up appt with Dr. Forman at the end of 2009.  I was embarrassed because I was back up over 300lbs - the same weight I was the morning of surgery.  I felt great, I looked great given what I had been through but I felt I was letting Dr. Forman down.  I lied to him about how much I weighed at that appt.  I told him I was 275 - same as I was after surgery but I was working to take it off.  (At the time I wasn't).  He wanted to take "After" photos but somehow I talked him into waiting until the next appointment.  He then stood in front of me and said,

"Well what are you gonna do about this?  I have recently partnered with Pamela Peke and you should go check her out.  Her initial assessment fee is over $700, but if anyone can get you into shape she can.  Because you know, it's all up here.."

and with that he took his index finger and poked me in the forehead.

I said (in a cheery, higher pitched voice than normal to mask my growing anger) something like, "Oh honey.. I'm the fat girl - I KNOW HOW to lose weight.. I just gotta DO IT."

He said something about seeing me in a few months but I didn't really hear him.

I was furious.

I got to the car and I could feel my face scowling.  WHY am I so mad at him?  WHAT did he say to just flip the angry switch in me like that?  WHO are you to tell me that it is all in my head skinny man.  Like you know ANYTHING about losing weight or being a fat person.  Puhlease. GRRRRRRRR

I believe that he was the catalyst.  He was the thing that made me open my eyes that I didn't know anything about losing weight successfully.  If I did, why am I in this situation.  I didn't know what was holding me back and exactly why wasn't I able to be a fit and healthy person.  I never considered that I even COULD be a fit and healthy person.  That one little push on my forehead, like an "ON" switch had opened some mental doors, and storage chests in my mind that I figured I was never going to go into.  I just never felt like I was going to be a fit and healthy person, but now he made me realize - I COULD be that person.  I just had to do it.  From there the AHA Moments (Copyright 2010 Harpo Productions / Oprah Winfrey) came in floods.

On 12/31/09 after learning about my close friend who had been diagnosed with the same 'effin cancer that took the lovely Marilyn.

That night (New Years Eve) I sat in bed watching a marathon of the Biggest Loser.  I realized Kate was onto something all along and I was a sick fat person that couldn't support her in her dreams and goals for her body b/c I hadn't even realized my own.

I thought about Deb & Dina's 'effin cancer too.  Later Trish and David's 'effin cancer would even further propel me to continue my journey.

I realized that I am at risk of PREVENTABLE cancer's and diabetes if I don't stop my unhealthy behaviors.

That was it.  2010 was gonna be different for me.  I was going to find a way to take charge of this life, to take control of my body and be the person I just assumed I was never gonna be.

Ultimately, a really big motivator for me was falling in love with my husband in entirely new ways I never knew imaginable now that we had gone through this very trying year mentally, physically, emotionally and financially.  Look at all he had done for me this last year to keep me healthy and healing.  Look at how much he wanted me to be healthy and be there with him with everything I have put him through and he has done for me.  I realized I didn't want to just "spend the rest of my days" with him, but I wanting to "spend as many days as possible with him" and show him every day how much I appreciate and honor him for choosing to spend his life with me.

All of a sudden I wanted MUCH MORE from my life and thus be able to give MUCH MORE to the ones I loved around me than what I had planned for it, and I was bound and determined to get it and make it happen.

The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me. (Ayn Rand)

So that brings us to today... 4lbs down in three days, back on track and ready to rock and roll. =)

The milestones coming up are:

7/22 - Dr. Forman follow up appt with "After" photos being taken at that appt. and I will graciously thank him for helping to wake me up. =)

First weekend in August - four day wedding extravaganza in Vermont with people who haven't seen me in a few years.

Labor Day weekend in September - trip to MN to see the family.

November - My 40th! =)


Let's see how it goes! =)

RECIPE: Turkey Burgers

I read somewhere that people who are successful long term at weight loss repeat a lot of the same meals/menus.  They find foods and recipes that work for them, and produce results they want - so they stick with it for awhile only changing up one or two meals or items our of their weekly diet at a time.  

Considering I have yet to appreciate my time in the kitchen, I am definitely a fan of this.  That means I can make 16 chicken breasts at the same time, freeze them and use them in recipes, sandwiches, salads, etc. as needed.  

One of my staple items in my success so far as been with turkey burgers.

Lorelei's Yummy Turkey Burgers

1lb Lean Ground Turkey - 99% fat free

.5 cup Crumbled Feta Cheese

2 Large Fresh Eggs

1 TSP Grey Poupon Dijon Mustard

2 TSP Worcestershire Sauce

.5 cup Chana Dal (ground chick peas - we use this like breadcrumbs)

Extra Virgin Olive Oil

Mix all ingredients together adding the Chana Dal last.  I used plastic gloves to make EIGHT patties, and then place them into a hot pan with the oil.

Place into pan and cook them for 4 minutes on Medium / Medium Low until they slide and can be easily flipped.

Once flipped, cook them for another 4 minutes at Medium / Medium Low.

Turn the pan to Low, and cover to steam the burgers for 2 minutes.  Turn off the heat and let them sit for another 2 minutes.

Remove from pan on to plate with paper towel to absorb residual oil from the burgers.  Let cool, and place in plastic bags to freeze.  

From Fridge:   Reheat in microwave in a shallow non-plastic bowl, with a plate on the top to create a steam chamber.  Microwave on High for 30 - 60 seconds.

From Frozen:  Thaw for one day, and then reheat in microwave in a shallow non-plastic bowl, with a plate on the top to create a steam chamber.  Microwave on High for 30 - 60 seconds.

Turkey Burger Ingredients

I used two pans so the turkey burgers aren't crowded.

The ones on the bottom are a little overcooked and should have been turned a few minutes ago.

The ones on the top have just gone into the pan.

When the burgers are cooked about 1/3 of the way through try to slide the burgers using a high temperature spatula or metal tongs.  If the turkey burgers won't slide after you have gently tried on a few sides, they aren't ready to be flipped yet.

Generally it takes about 4 minutes at medium heat.

Here are my two pan screens.  Due to the high moisture content of the turkey burgers, they do splatter quite a bit, so screens are really advised.

Due to the egg, the top and bottom get a nice browning on them.  The one on the bottom left is what happens when you try to flip it too early. =)  When testing whether or not they are ready to flip, test more than one.  One may not be getting as much heat as the others and so the others could be ready.

Once flipped cook for another 4 minutes on Medium to Medium Low.

For 2 minutes turn the heat to low and cover the pan.  This last steaming effect helps cook the rest of the inside of the turkey burger and keeps it more moist.

For the last 2 minutes turn off the heat and let it continue to steam with the cover on.

Remove the burgers to a plate with paper towel and let them rest for at least 10 minutes.  I find that meats retain a lot more moisture when they are let to rest before consumption or freezing.

 You can dress up your turkey burger in a million ways.  Look up any good flavor themed burger recipe and find the light version of it.  For me or the hubby I have used:

Mayo - Regular and Light (Hellman's is one of my kryptonites)

Apples

Avocados

Baby Spinach

Pears

Greek Yogurt

Craisins

Blue Cheese

Hydroponic Butter Lettuce

Cranberry Jelly

I LOVE hydroponic lettuce.  It retains its crisp and freshness b/c it is still alive.  It's hydroponic bud is still attached and keeping it moist keeps the lettuce crisp and fresh even longer.  I have yet to throw out a spoiled head of this lettuce.

My current favorite bread/sandwich choice is Thomas' Honey Wheat English Muffins.  This has been my only bread choice since I started on April 10th.  Thanks Thomas' for finally catching on and removing the High Fructose Corn Syrup from my favorite English Muffins. =)

Tonight for my sandwich I chose, Greek Yogurt, Craisins, Spinach and for hubby's we have Hellmans, Blue Cheese and the Butter Lettuce

I added some canned pears in light syrup (I just love how mushy they are) with a few Craisins added on top for flair.

I love the flexibility that the turkey burgers offer me in my eating plan.  Depending on my mood I can flavor this juicy, light turkey burger to my tastes.  From the fridge or frozen (thawed for 1 day in their bag) they reheat like a dream if placed in a shallow bowl, covered with a plate (to steam it) for just 30 seconds to 1 minute in the microwave.

YUM! =)

We are Weight Loss Pioneers

I often envision a future me.  Healthy, fit, obviously older, and my niece and nephew's children will ask me, "So Great Auntie Lorelei, tell us again the story of how you lost weight in the olden days..."

The first key to any old person telling a story is to point out all of the modernizations and technology that weren't available "back then".  So I will call out modern technology and advancements in weight loss that we didn't have like their internal implants that calculate the nutritional value of a meal after a nanosecond optic scan prior to consumption.  Home server systems with a team of Service Droids didn't prepare our foods, or act as an on-demand, on-site personal trainer to take us through a daily workout routine.  We didn't have in home holographic gyms to kayak and mountain climb and spend hours hiking in the remote regions of some far off land.

We did it the hard way.


I will tell them of days of counting calories, and making your own food choices, and having to write in a paper journal (the use of paper will be outlawed by then), and reading food labels, and understanding nutritional balance and how certain food types effect other food types and how they fuel your body.

I will recap how the people of America rose up against their Government and Industry for trying to kill us in COUNTLESS ways - health care, work benefits, work hours, tax breaks, working conditions, product packaging, added ingredients and more.  The biggest catalyst was the Corn Crush of 2011.  The production of feed corn that was turned into Corn Syrup and High Fuctose Corn Syrup and placed into so many of our foods, fed to our livestock - all to the point that we literally had corn showing up in our DNA.  The movement was really spawned when our own government wanted to TAX the very soda that we are buying when our government used our TAX MONEY to buy the feed corn that is processed into the soda.  You are gonna tax me on something you used my tax dollars to buy?  Shame on you.

After successfully changing the way corn is produced, our food was produced, our livestock were treated and fed.. it only continued to spawn countless movements that inspired and changed the way everyone thought about food, fitness and their health.  As a nation, in an effort to save ourselves, our children and our country from a constant diagnosis of obesity, diabetes, cancer, sleep apnea - we now only consumed the amount of healthy food that we needed to fuel our bodies rather than gorging on excess with no positive outcomes. 

Movements to increase physical activities in all facets of life - school, work and home were implemented in all formats - weight loss challenges, fitness challenges, healthy cooking challenges.  Employers felt the effects in their bottom lines of increased profits, lower absenteeism, and a stronger company culture by pulling the employees together to make a chance.  This spawned further movements to deconstruct the unhealthy and pressure ridden work places that kept us fat, unhappy, and contributed to the depression, disease and divorce of this country in ways we just weren't aware.  When the people rose up to demand a change from their family members, their friends, their co-workers, their civil servants, their church members.. when they supported each other and reached out to pull one another through.. we found a unity as a nation that we never thought possible through all of our efforts at trying to make a connection with your fellow man through church, through civic activities - it was a unified quest for the improvement of the health of our nation that did it.  We pulled together, we fought against the establishment and we WON.

They will ooh and be in awe of power of the people, the power of pulling together like the community that we really are and inspiring a WORLD of people to get control of their nations health before they got out of control.

I document my journey because I am a weight loss pioneer!

Perfectionist Control Freak

It has come to my attention that my perfectionism is really a problem. =)

I used to joke/half truth about being a Perfectionist Control Freak.  What could possibly be wrong with that?  I am doing everything, and doing it as perfect as I can make it - what is wrong with that? =)  So so so so much right?  =)

Last week I was jazzed about our trip to PA.  I had big plans for fitness, and working out, the hike with the PA hiking group, maybe Niagara Falls.  Lots of stuff to do in a really short period of time.

However, last Monday I also started to drag around the Shame Train.  On the Shame Train I am the engine and when one thing doesn't go as planned, that car of shame gets added onto the train.. and then the stops at 
Disappointmentville, Beatmyselfup Village and Unworthy Heights b/c you can't just haul around one car - that's inefficient and a waste of time.  So I go hunting to add more cars onto the train.  I am even a perfectionist about beating myself up.  It has to be a huge production in order to be worthy.  This keeps going all week.  Miss a workout.  Not logging my food.  Miss another workout..

Next thing you know.. it is Saturday morning, we are checking into the hotel at 7:30a, I have been up since
Friday morning getting everything together and packed for the trip then doing all the driving up there.  There were a ton of things that I accomplished during the week.  Groomed the dogs and took them down to my friend's house so we could go on the trip.  Cleaned the entire house.  Caught up on all of the laundry.  Paid the bills.  Mowed the lawn.  Cleaned the carport.  Packed the stuff for our trip.  Loaded almost all of it (it was hubby's birthday week and on birthday week you don't have to do anything hehehe).  So now that we are settled into the hotel room, I am exhausted, disappointed in myself for not planning better, but know that taking on a 4 mile hike for the first time on no sleep with a bunch of strangers just doesn't sound like a smart idea.  I "call in sick" to the hike with the local PA hiking club.  I go to sleep crying I am so disappointed that I didn't plan better.  I end up sleeping all day, and basically having a breakdown Saturday night.  wth is wrong with me?  I am antsy, I feel like crap about myself, the article that I read a few days ago about perfectionism creeps back into my head and I further crucify myself for being a perfectionist.  This isn't helping..

I go to the parking lot and the truck and call my niece.  I am spiraling with my own thoughts and I need an
intervention.  She is 28 and we are so alike and supportive of each other.. I just can't imagine my world
without her.

"Kate!  I need 5 minutes of your time.  Everyone is healthy and fine, I am not getting a divorce and this isn't about anyone else but me.  You got a few minutes?" LOL  "For you? Anything!" she replies.  I quickly run through the list of things as I see them that got me to my current place.  I explain that I know it really doesn't matter what got me here as many of the things that are effecting me aren't real - just my head thinks they are real - so what can I do to start crawling out of this hole I have dug for myself?

She first reminds me that this trip is about the hubby - not me.  That even though I planned on doing stuff, if he
didn't want to leave until late, if he wants to sleep all day, if he wants to go to the park at 3am - whatever he
wants to do  - this is his trip.

Second, give myself credit for everything I have done in the last week - cleaned the entire house, prepared for
everything for us to be gone.  I even went to get some Tilex to clean the hotel tub b/c the whirlpool jets looked a little suspicious to me (and they so were full of mold).  She reminded me that I need to give myself credit for all of the little stuff like that that I do for other people.  I need to remember how much I am appreciated for all that I do.

Third, realize that I have come a LONG way in a really short period of time.  I am more healthy, stronger, and happier about my future with this body.  I should be proud of how I have taken complete control of my nutrition.  I have had 2 cups of ice cream and 2 peppermint patties since April 10th as my sweets.  That's it.  I haven't binged ate, I haven't lied and done the late night drive thru that I used to do.  I have had the most minimal amount of processed foods - chinese noodles, craisins, Cliff bars.  I am eating fruits and vegetables every day when I used to say I was allergic to both.  I have gone swimming at the public pool not caring what anyone thought of my jiggly legs.  Their opinion of me doesn't matter - besides a year from now they won't even recognize me.  I need to be so proud of all of the changes that I have implemented so far into my life and not be so hard on myself.  There is no such thing a perfect (there's that word again...) - so I have to turn my mind around to be happy with ALL of my accomplishments.

Last, I have spent decades thinking I knew everything, and telling myself things that just weren't true.  In 3
months it is just not possible to undo all of that mental training that I did to protect my soul and heart all those
years.  The things I told myself to be OK with my morbid obesity.  The things I told myself to be OK with my
limited abilities.  The words I chose to decribe myself, to justify the choices that I was making in my life.  I
need to take the time to undo each and every one of them and replace them with a different, more real thought about the person that I am today and even more so the person I want to be tomorrow.  I need to have the same amount of patience with myself that I do for everyone else in my life.

She is so right.

So I have weighed in and I have gained 4lbs this week. 

Take that perfectionist! =)  Guess what, I am going to move on to lose more weight, and eventually to my goal.  I won't let the perfectionist in me keep me down any longer.  This is all part of my journey, all part of the changes that I am making in my life to be a healthier, stronger, happier me.

As I wrap this post up, we are half-watching Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince for the first time.  The old guy with the beard, Dumbledore says to them:

As I stand looking out over all of you tonight.  Every day, every hour, this very minute - dark forces try to
penetrate these castle walls.  In the end, their greatest weapon - is you.

So true Dumbledore.  So true.