Accountability Lesson...
I am in the blahs. Been here pretty much all week. I could speculate on all of the things that got me here - but really does it matter? Getting out should be my only focus.
Instead. Have a made any attempt to get out of it - not really, that is what the blahs do, un-motivate you, and I let them. Am I working out like I should or even like I want to be doing - nope. Do I know that if I work out I will feel better and less in the blahs? Yup. Do I know that creating opportunities for success for myself would make me feel A LOT better and really move me out of the blahs? Yup.
I have slacked on my fitness all week and now I am paying for it. I feel lazy. I feel tired. I feel.. BLAH.
I had intentions all day. At one point me and hubby ran some errands and stopped at Home Depot. He went in to get something. I considered taking some carts up to the door - just keep doing that at a quick pace to get some steps in (trying to do 12,000 steps a day now) - but I didn't. I just sat there and talked myself out of it then drove around the parking lot waiting for hubby. I have no excuses. I even thought about going down there now to get on the treadmill and the bike. Just stopping this post and starting to work out at almost 12:30am - just to do it. Just to get back into the routine!...
Then the voice kicks in as I type the above paragraph.. but then you have to wash your face, and brush your teeth, and get on your exercise clothes, and then get water in the water bottle.. it will easily be another 30 minutes before you are down there. Then what.. how long do you really plan on staying down there. It is late, you are tired. You should just go to bed and wait until tomorrow. Just do it tomorrow...
Then I remember the last time I felt like this and posted about how my "head" wasn't in it, how I was taking a break.. someone said something like .. "get up.. get dressed and go for a walk.. something.. anything.. this is the most critical time for you to do something about it to break the cycle.. one day turns into two, two days turns into weeks, weeks turn into months.. you don't want that to happen so change it now - get up, go out and take a walk.."
.....
20 minutes to brush and floss teeth, wash face, change and get down there.
I am down here - VICTORY!
The second the music started I knew I made the right decision.
VICTORY!
16 minutes of increasing my heart rate walking on the treadmill and stretching.
To self: Remember the other day when you posted how good you feel after stretching? Yeah.. you need to do this FIRST thing in the morning. Just commit to the 5 minutes for the warm up, then the 10 minutes of stretching. You feel SOOOO much better when you do. I bet that feeling lasts all day.
Then as a bit of a Jillian style make up for my behavior in the temptation challenge (LOL), and as a way to support the boot camp team I am participating in.. for the first time I took on one of the weekend challenges and did:
200 Torso Twists (right and left count as 1)
100 Side Bends (right and left count as 1)
and 50 Crunches
VICTORY
Now I am all warmed up. After some very brisk walking, I made myself jog 1/4 of a mile straight. THAT was a battle. I was gonna give up three dots before, two dots before.. omg am I gonna make it.. YAY!
VICTORY
So then I push on and blow by it and go four more dots at .2 mph faster.
VICTORY
I just did half of that the other day for the first time.
Then I biked keeping my heart rate up. A song or two later I was talking myself into cutting it short. It is late.. I should head to bed.. then those little notes started to play as song number 16 began on my play list of 19 songs...
I look into the window of my mind
Reflections of the fears I know I've left behind
I step out of the ordinary
I can feel my soul ascending
I am on my way
Can't stop me now
And you can do the same
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
IT'S NEVER TO LATE TO TRY (even at 1 AM! =)
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
You could be so many people
If you make that break for freedom
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
So I biked through the entire song, then I ran another 1/8 of a mile and back to the bike again through the last song on the CD.
VICTORY!
40 minutes of cardio!
VICTORY!!!
Cool down. WOOT!
I head upstairs and as I am standing in the kitchen eating a tablespoon of trail mix reflecting on how powerful the mind is that it can sabotage me day after day, have me believing the lies. I thought I wasn't going to listen to that voice. I thought I was ignoring those thoughts because all they do is cause failure.. I hear from the TV in the next room:
Yoda tells Luke to raise his cruiser out of the swamp. Luke, not believing he has the power of the force to take on such a huge task responds, "Ok, I'll try"
Yoda replies, "No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
Damn straight Yoda!
This, ladies and gentlemen concludes this evenings accountability exercise.
I am tired now.. =)
