Welcome to Week 5

I am amazed that a month has gone by.  In my past "diet" attempts, I don't ever remember going 30 days without cheating, without lying, without a drive-thru.  I really don't remember any successes in those attempts at all.  When I think back on them I can't extrapolate what worked and what didn't, or even any details of them.. my memory is only - it didn't work. =)

Staying focused on NOW has helped me move forward.  Thinking about those times in the past I barely remember doing the diet, so I certainly can't reasonably pull from my memory banks all of the other items that were going on during that time.  Things I have forgotten, stressors that were in my life during that time don't come flooding back along with the diet attempts I had made, or the excuses I was using.  There were many factors involved in me not being successful those other times - there is no way to remember them. =)  So there is a huge part of history that is missing, and thus it is not productive for me to spend my mental time there looking for crumbs of success to try to pull into my current routine.  Instead I am focused on changing my history starting today with habits that work for me RIGHT NOW.  With choices that are in line with my goals that I can make today, and celebrate that victory. =)

I have weigh in tomorrow to finish out the 15lb in a month challenge that I slaughtered in Week 2.  WOOT!  I have a weigh in today (I think?) for the new Boot Camp challenge I am starting.  I am on a team, and our team competes with other teams for items such as "most steps in a week", "most percentage of weight loss", etc.  I think that this will really help me step it up in the exercise department.  Although I think I did a pretty good job on that yesterday.  I walked Onyx around the neighborhood.  Then I walked the field for an hour with an average heart rate of 130 - 135 bpm.  Today I am SORE.  It is technically my workout day off, but I took a day off earlier this week so I swapped the two.  Plus, I usually clean the house on Friday's.  So that means lots of cleaning today, plus errands, plus a workout.  

With that, I wish you all a fantastic day and I welcome you to Week 5. =)

THE BIGGEST LOSER - CANINE EDITION - Tease's First Work Out

BLACK TEAM UPDATE - First Workout

Tease is an interesting story.  Having been sold to a woman in MD, Tease didn't like to not be by the lady's side.  She would constantly break out of her enclosure and finally the lady had enough.  When the county found her walking the streets, they picked her up and took her in.  Her owner didn't even attempt to pick her up and figured the county would just fix and place her.

However, she was microchipped to the breeder. So when the breeder in NV was called to notify her that her dog had been picked up and was in lock down at the county shelter... in MD she was a little surprised.  She contacted me as I am a member of a Pom club in MD, and I went down to the county to pick her up.  She had racked up $97 in fees by the time I got there.  When I got her home we realized what a fantastic personality this girl had, she was leash trained, consistently listened to us, and was a joy to have around.  Even though my husband was flying to Vegas the next day and could have transported her - I ended up buying her for $97.

When she came to us, she was lean.. not anymore.  Over the years she has packed on the pounds.  Considering I was in denial about my weight and what it was doing to my health, I was in denial about her health as well.  

Now that I am working out, I figured she would be a great partner to take down to the field with me.  She can let me know if someone is coming up on me, plus the exercise will do her great too.

Here is Tease at the start of our walk.  We have done a little walking, and I was stretching.  She was a little confused as to what we were doing, but was happy to kiss my forehead every time I did a stretch.

Honestly, it didn't take her long to get tired.  I was dragging her behind me through most of the field.  So I decided I would head over to the baseball field and walk in a circle there.  That way if she wanted to sit and rest she wanted.  

Well being the good girl she is, she did follow me, although most times she was WAY behind, or she would cut across the center of the baseball field to get to me. =)  As I would go around and around, I would catch her stopped on the other side of the field looking longingly at another family in the distance who also had a dog, then looking at me, then looking at them.  I could almost hear her thoughts as she considered if that family was more lazy than I am now, b/c that is what she thought she signed up for - couch time - not this field walking crap. =)

By the end of the 90 minutes she had definitely had enough.  Here she is while I am doing my post walk stretch.  She is practically falling asleep just sitting there.  I put her lead back on, put on the Biggest Loser theme song on the ipod and took us back home.  For right now she isn't the best work out partner, but I sure did have a few good laughs having her out there.  I am sure she will be better next time.

=)

THE BIGGEST LOSER - CANINE EDITION

THE BIGGEST LOSER - CANINE EDITION

This season on The Biggest Loser - Canine Edition, we are down to the final two contestants.  Each with their own personal journey, they have come here to lose weight and change their lives.

On the Black team we have Tease.  Originally from Las Vegas, NV where she used to strip tease, this single girl found herself bloated and fat at just the age of 5.  With a full life ahead of her Tease wanted more for herself so she signed up for The Biggest Loser - Canine Edition with hopes of saving her life.

"When I lived in Vegas I was stripping all the time, so that helped keep the weight off.  Now that I don't do that anymore, I have noticed the pounds creep up on me each week, but I kept thinking, tomorrow I will do something about this.. and tomorrow never came - until today."


Tease, this is your first week on the ranch, and so we are going to weigh you in.  Please step up on the scale.

Your current weight is...

beep 
beep
beep
beep

Tease, your current weight is 12.6lbs.  Welcome to the ranch.

On the Blue team we have Saphira.  Originally from Bel Air, MD this country girl has always fancied herself a tough girl - on the outside.  However, her gentle and soft nature inside lead her to a life of excessive eating and a lack of exercise.  

Saphira wanted to join The Biggest Loser - Canine Edition to take back her life and help her breathing.  "Carrying around all of this extra weight I sound like a pig sometimes - trust me, it's not attractive.  I also choked on a hard piece of mulch a few years back which certainly didn't help my breathing - but I am hoping that if I shed a few pounds I will be able to breathe easier and have a better quality of life."
 
Saphira, this is your first week on the ranch, and so we are going to weigh you in.  Please step up on the scale.

Your current weight is...

beep 
beep
beep
beep

Saphira, your current weight is 10lbs.  Welcome to the ranch.


Stay tuned to The Biggest Loser - Canine Edition to see what progress our contestants make over the next several weeks.  Who will be crowned The Biggest Loser, and who will just go home.

My Biggest Loser Ranch

One of the things that I think is very important to my overall success is setting up the most successful environment.  If I want the changes to stick, I realized I needed to rethink HOW I live my life.  When I walked into my kitchen all I saw were snack foods and unhealthy foods on my kitchen counter.  When I opened my fridge, all of the "good for me" foods were hidden away in drawers at the bottom of the fridge.  My workout equipment was in a corner in my basement in an area that I didn't feel like spending even 2 minutes there.  I knew I would get bored doing the same thing every day, so I wanted to set up the most inviting environment for myself.  I wanted to create the most exciting environment for myself otherwise I knew I wasn't going to stick with this.  Here is how I transformed my space to be the most successful for me:

KITCHEN

- Removed all "bad for me" foods.  Hubby has his "bad for him" foods down in his room or hidden somewhere.

- Reorganized the fridge so the fruits and veggies are on the shelves, not hidden down in the drawers. 

- Put fruits, veggies, nuts and healthy snacks on the counter top in the kitchen.  This is where the chips, cookies and other crap used to live.  They were evicted four weeks ago. =)

- I started going to the farmer's market for much of my seasonal produce.  I also have stopped using those horrible produce bags.  I now bring towels and I am even going to look into sewing some reusable veggie/fruit bags that I have found on the net.

INDOOR WORKOUT

I have set up different options for myself inside.  

We have collected quite a few exercise items off of Craig's List at bargain prices over the years.  So I cleaned up this area, steam cleaned the tiles, steam cleaned all of the equipment to where they all looked brand new - it had quite a bit of dust build up from the years it has been sitting down there.  I obtained the gym flooring from Sam's Club for $20 for 30 sq feet of flooring (even got a few extras and a gym matt on the fireplace in the back.  I doubled up the flooring in the stretching area (between the treadmill and the fireplace) for more cushion against the tile floors.  The bowflex also has the leg attachment, but we are missing a pin (says my hubby) so I use it for what I can right now, but would love to have the leg extension on there soon.  The bike I bought over 5 years ago and it has lived in my shed.  It was very happy to be resurrected for this endeavor.

Down here there is also music, television/cable and the dvd player for any type of entertainment, workouts on demand, etc. while I am working out that will just keep me there longer.

OUTDOOR WORKOUT

I literally have a park on three sides of my house.  Across the street is a basketball court, to the right of that are the paved national park trails which are 45 miles long.

In the back of my house down a hill is the huge field where I can walk on field grass or at the baseball diamonds for more cushion than the trails or the treadmill can offer me for my knees.  The grass varies throughout the field so depending on the challenge I am looking for I can try different areas of the field for more or less of a challenge.

MENTAL WORKOUT

I have been reading everything I can find about healthy living, working out, etc.  I have the entire series of Biggest Loser books which I got for free when I signed up for biggestloserclub.com and I also have Dr. Oz's YOU and YOU on a Diet.  I have also read on the message boards that Jillian Michaels Master your Metabolism is also a fantastic read.  The more I have learned about how certain foods go together, about how to sustain energy over longer periods of time, which foods make me feel great and which ones can put me to sleep - the better I am at mastering my fuel source to keep me going throughout the day and keeping me on track for my goals. =) 

I have very supportive and informative friends on The Biggest Loser Club.  The challenges put on by the members there help me stay focused and on target.   I learn from their successes as well as from their stumbles.  I have a another group of friends through Facebook that I converse with on healthy living, working out and weight loss.  Keeping my mind on the task at hand and not fooling myself that these changes can be passive in my life has kept me focused and on task 100% for a month now.  I had to stop lying to myself about the severity of my weight, the looming of my 40th this year, and the deterioration of joints that I have experienced in just the last few years and get real about what needed to be done so I can live my life.

I also take time to think.  During my workouts I try to not think about anything else going on in my life.  I think about my health, how far I am pushing myself - I get into the moment and really relish that time that I am taking to rebuild my body - and rebuild my life.

I have created the most successful environment for me in my home.  Each day I try to find new ways that I can change or modify our routine, set up, lifestyle to make the little changes that will really make me successful.   

And that is how I have created my own Biggest Loser Ranch at home. =)

Pesky old habits...

So if you happen to have been here in the last two or three days I had a post entitled "Fat since 1975" - complete with pictures it documented my "Fat Story" - when it started, what diets I was on, the weight I lost each time, even personal details about particular events that happened related to those times.

Tonight, I am actually on a pause of a date night with my husband.  We are watching WEC Extreme! WOOT! One of the best ever.  UFC sure knows how to put on a good show! =)

Anyway.. so while he is taking a bio.. I decided I was going to come on here and blog about how happy I am right now.  I have:

- LOST 22lbs now in three weeks following The Biggest Loser diet plan.  I have am still working on making routines out of exercise but I have followed the food to a T!  "If it has a mother, or grows out of the ground.. it is on the eating plan!" No high fructose corn syrup. No soda. No sweets. No rice. No breads. No sugar. Barely anything that is pre-processed.

- PUSHED myself to a place I didn't think I could go, and then pushed some more.  I am running.  Yup.. running.  It's a minute at a time, and.. it.. feels.. fantastic!  My range of motion is better than it has been in a decade.  I am not afraid of injuring myself anymore.  I walk with a confidence and grace that I always told myself I had.. but I really didn't. =)

- LEARNED SO much about myself.  I have surrendered to the fact that I didn't know a thing about losing weight and living a healthy life.  All those years when anyone would give me advice on how to lose weight I would automatically tune them out and think, "Yeah.. yeah.. yeah.. remember.. I am the fat one.. I know how to diet.. duh!  I know what I gotta do.. I just gotta do it.."  

Oh really?  So.. very.. wrong.. I was SO so so so so so so so and some so wrong!  Don't worry.. I forgave myself for this 22lbs ago! =)

That is what this post is really all about.  Forgiving myself for the past was a very important component to setting up the most successful environment for myself.  It still takes work every day.  Each time I feel an old bad behavior coming on I refuse to make decisions for 30 minutes.  Starting the timer, I look to new places for encouragement and support.  I watch Bob & Jillian videos on YouTube, I read the message boards for success stories, I watch the "Biggest Loser Theme Song" video, I talk about how I am feeling with the support on the site.. I find a way to support myself rather than let myself give in like I used to just because I "wanted it", "deserved it", "earned it".  Those words got me where I am now.  

So when I logged on here to post about how happy I am, the first thing I saw was "Fat since 1975".  POW - Just like a kick to the stomach.  Right there, an old behavior had crept in.  This post is not how I feel about myself.  I believe the power is not in analyzing where I have been, but where I AM right now, and defining CLEAR and PROACTIVE steps to get me to where I want to go.  While looking at the pitfalls and failures of dieting in my past I can't reasonably recreate all of the elements that were going on during that time to really analyze how things went wrong, so I am not fairly judging myself for my actions, and in the end only reinforcing an entire track record of failure.  How should I feel after reading that post?  Inspired?  Not likely.  Therefore, it is best to leave it where it was.. in the past and focus only on today and the future that I want to create... you know, the things I CAN ACTUALLY CHANGE. =)

I promptly deleted the post.  It felt fantastic. =)

Be good to yourselves.

Carbs alone eat out your brain...

Week 3 has been hard!  I am so glad that Tina and Deb talked about the cravings would increase in Week 3 on the message boards or I think that I would have been crazy by now.  I am glad to learn ahead of time that this may also continue into Week 4 as well so I can prepare. =)  

I am very proud of myself.  I really think that I have the calories and nutrition thing d o w n.  I remember Deb saying early on to someone that even if you aren't doing anything else in the plan, water and calories should always be a no-brainer.  In my old behavior I would have been off the wagon or steered it right to a drive-thru by now with these intense of cravings.  My only "treat" that I thought about for 30 minutes and decided that on the list of "treats" it was a good choice - about a cup of dairy fresh chocolate milk at the Farmer's Market.  It was yummy, but very very rich tasting - and thus I only drank half of the single serving bottle.

However, that moment on Sunday afternoon was the last happy moment I remember having this week. From there it has been a struggle. =)

On top of the endless cravings for all of the white stuff - white bread, doughnuts, birthday cake (you know how many birthday cakes appear in commercials?  I swear it is every few minutes) - plus, the weather turned cold here.  After the Farmer's Market I was so stiff and achy and I couldn't get warmed up.  Did I exercise you ask?  Something that would have increased my heart rate and warmed me up longer than a hot shower ever could?  Nahh... I crawled up in bed under the covers with a hot water bottle and napped the rest of Sunday and most of Monday. =)

Tuesday I got a little bit of energy and went to run a few errands.  In the vein of taking better care of my body while I am building it back up, I picked up Revlon's equivalent to a Pedi-Egg.  Let's just say that "zest grater for the feet" is the perfect description of what it does - however, I got a little overzealous and I injured myself on both feet - I over-zested. It is now Thursday and I anticipate at least a few more days before I will be able to wear shoes other than my open sandals.  

Can I still exercise.. yup.  But my head has not been there at all.  I started out punishing myself for the first hour or so.  I even went down there all dressed up in my gear and got on the bike with my flip flops and wasn't feeling any of it.  Then realized that I should give my mind and body some time and then we would think about it again tomorrow. 

Today, I started the day out well.  I thought that I might actually get a work out in - I was in an improved frame of mind.  Then I decided I wanted pancakes for breakfast.  I got the Low Fat Oat Bran Pancake Mix. I made two thin pancakes with milk instead of water, and 2 tablespoons of honey then put strawberry and banana slices in between with strawberry apple sauce.  A few days ago I had read in one of the books to eat your carbs early in the day so you have time to burn them off.  I had my delicious pancakes, then I read on the message boards that I should be eating a lean protein along with the carbs otherwise sugars go up.. then come down.  Just then my eyes started to droop.  I was out for 6 hours. =)

I now believe.. my Sunday chocolate milk probably helped send me to bed for Sunday and Monday.  Then the pancakes with fruit sent me to bed yesterday.  So not only did I feel it physically, but it is like mentally I had been whipped.  

So to confirm - if I had maybe half the serving of pancakes, but then added an egg or other protein source in there then I would not have crashed as much.  

Good to know!

Papaya - Disappointment : Plums MIA

On my quest to try new foods I picked up a large and small papaya at the grocery store.  I had to ask the produce guy what they were b/c I was unsure. =)

I waited until it was nice and yellow on the outside, and this morning I cut open the small one.  Those seeds are crazy.. they are just hanging out in there like little tadpole eggs getting ready to sprout a tail.

I like to use the melon baller to take out the center seed area on fruits.  It cuts into the meat really easy, but also only takes a thin layer.  I took the seeds out then took a piece to try.

This is a tropical fruit? 

Much like the cantelope that I am not really fond of either, the papaya has a very mellow and not sweet taste.  Blah.  I tried a few more bites and it was just too boring.

I wonder if the bigger one will have a different taste?

I am upset that I can't find plums anywhere.  I had my first last week and wished I had 12 more.  I have looked at four places since, and no one has plums.  I am on the hunt!

Next new food... Eggplant.

Week 2 Complete - Initiating Week 3

I had a great Week 2!  I anticipated 0 for loss as Week 2 is historically a challenging one for most people on a program.  Your body is reacting from the huge loss of Week 1 and readjusting itself getting ready for more loss.  

I ended up losing 3.1 this week for a total loss so far of 16.6 lbs!  

I have not "cheated", and the more I make that statement, the more I feel like that word really doesn't have a place in my vocabulary anymore.  There is no such thing as "cheating" for me.  It is choosing to want better for my fuel engine called my body.  Period. =)

The other night I had a low-fat vanilla yogurt with fresh raspberries.  I would drop one raspberry in, then scoop with a bit of the yogurt.  It was SOOO sweet it felt like I was having raspberry cheesecake.  

I realized the majority of my diet is raw foods.. b/c I don't really like to cook. =)  I am a put it together and eat it kinda girl.  Raw fruits and raw vegetables are a constant throughout the day.

Yesterday I was out of the house first thing in the morning and up to Fredrick, MD.  Then back home by 1p, let out the dogs, few minor chores, then back out again to the Farmer's Market in Bethesda.  Clearly farmer's sell out of their goods fairly early (and even go home if they don't have enough to sell - makes sense) and so I will need to start hitting them a bit earlier.  I am leaving shortly for one in Takoma Park.  I brought all of my berry containers and egg containers and gave them to one of the vendors yesterday for "re-use".  I think I could totally get into this locally bought Farmer's market thing. =)  

Last night we had filet mignon that I got from the farmer's market in Bethesda.  They were d-e-l-i-c-i-o-u-s!  It had been awhile since I had red meat, but the chipotle lime merinade made them fantastic as always - plus my genius husband is the master at cooking the steaks just right. =)  I even have another steak left over that I am slicing up and freezing for sometime next week as a topper to a salad, or on some kind of sandwich. =)

I fried my hubby's homemade french fries last night.  After they were all done and he had some salt and pepper on them (way more salt than I would consume in a week at this point) I had one little moment of hesitation.  Just one fry won't hurt, they look so good... then gained my composure and I moved the plate to a counter where they weren't in front of me and moved on.  I did not take a single fry.  I might have smelled the plate a few times.. but I figure I free will ate fries for 39 years, I can keep it under control for one year without any problem. =)

I will watch Biggest Loser Week 3 tonight to see what I should be on the lookout for this week.  I want to watch past seasons that I didn't get to see on Hulu.com but I have been keeping myself pretty busy off of the computer.. so that will just have to wait.  I hear from my Challenge Team that Week 3 some of the cravings come on pretty hard.  So I will just recognize that to be the case, and prepare myself for that challenge this week ahead. =)

Bring on Week 3!

Let it go. This too shall pass.

I watch this at least once a day, if not more depending on the stress of the day.

The lyrics hit home with the whole weight loss/fitness changes I have been making, and the poignancy of the video in that sometimes, some things, are very very complicated, and hard to set up and execute.  However, with commitment and perseverance - you can make something so unique and amazing happen.

Plus.. these are the treadmill guys. =)

Thanks OK GO.  Click here to watch the video on YouTube in 1080HD - it is beautiful! =)

You know you can't keep lettin' it get you down
And you can't keep draggin' that dead weight around.
If there ain't all that much to lug around,
Better run like hell when you hit the ground.

When the morning comes.
When the morning comes.

You can't stop these kids from dancin'.
Why would you want to?
Especially when you're already gettin' yours.
'Cause if your mind don't move and your knees don't bend,
well don't go blamin' the kids again.

When the morning comes.

Let it go, this too shall pass.
You know you can't keep lettin' it get you down. 
No, you can't keep lettin' it get you down.

Deconstructing The Biggest Loser

For the last few months I have been watching The Biggest Loser.  I watched all of Season 8 in a day on demand, and then the premiere of Season 9 was on a few days later.  I had seen the show before, and I am always impressed with
the transformations.

I was inspired by the show and I knew I wanted to lose the weight.  I would tell myself day after day.. tomorrow I am going to go down and get on that treadmill and I am going to stay on there until I wreck myself like they do on the show.  I know I am afraid of exercising, as I am afraid of getting injured - but I just gotta go down there and PUSH myself past that fear and I am sure I will be impressed with how much I really can do.

Each day would go by and I wouldn't go down there.  Not enough time, don't feel like it, haven't eaten all day - whatever excuse it was, they were just that - excuses.  I had set myself up for failure by expecting that I could go down there (even if I did have 6 hours) and do what they do on the show.  It wasn't gonna work.

Ok.. then how do I make it work?  How do they make it work when they go home, what are they learning on the ranch that they are taking home and applying to their personal lives?  How can I learn from this information and apply it to my life?

I sat down with pen and paper and took a really analytical look and deconstructed the show as to why I think it so successful for the contestants when they start out to find out how I could apply my findings to my life.

First: Mental, Emotional & Physical

I felt the mental and the emotional in the show is completely individualized - although they share behaviors that overlap with other contestants, this part of the process is unique for each person because it is people's own baggage.  However, the physical - intake and exercise - are all mathematical and apply to everyone equally.  Just as Jillian shouted it in Melissa's face.. it is Science!

When they first get to the ranch they don't sit down and have a quiet therapy session and talk about how they got to where they are - they go to the Bob & Jillian Intervention Clinic where the only therapy available is Sweat Therapy.  They don't have famous therapists on there - they have trainers!

Only in that sweat therapy do they start to chip away at the walls that they have built up about their weight that they didn't even know they were holding up.  Instead of analyzing all of the foods they used to eat before they start, they simply don't give them the opportunity to eat those foods on a day to day basis.  Instead of talking about all of the things that have played a part in keeping them fat, they have them focus on the food and exercise and  becoming healthy.

We all know that the ROOT issues of their obesity come out usually after a physical butt kicking when the contestants are so tired they can't hold up those emotional barriers anymore.  However, the root issues can't be solved until Bob and Jillian have dealt with the hardest challenge for each contestant.. their Pride.

We watch with glee as their pride is broken down (Jillian is the best at that) and as they learn new information they realize that they were misinformed on.. almost everything.  This is where they start to trust the process, it comes little
by little each week as they see their successes.  Eventually, we are in total awe when each one in their own time submits.. they submit to their trainers, they submit to the food, they submit to the process.  Then they find a new pride.. one that comes from within, not the one that they kept around them that barred any new information from coming in or the ability to look at themselves to create and apply the fixes that lead to success in all areas of their lives.

That's when the real magic happens, in that new pride they want to drive for more, they want more success.. and what do they find as they move through the process.. those pesky barriers.  One by one they reveal themselves.  Only in this new open mind that is full of internal pride and the ability to really look at themselves and their habits, to talk about their feelings openly and honestly with support that they trust and to be able to change any component in their life instantly knowing that it is all for the greater good of their life.  We see breakthroughs that would have taken months in therapy talking about it come out under physical and mental exhaustion.  In most cases, a solution is discussed immediately and applied all in the same episode.  No drama, resolution and back to focusing on the goal of moving forward towards the ultimate goal - a healthy, fit, happy life.

So I:
- Stopped obsessing about figuring it out mentally or having to understand it before I could try or implement it.
- Stopped looking for all of the reasons why I am this fat and focused on all of the things that I can do each day to not be fat anymore.
- Opened my mind and understood that I didn't have all the answers and that there is so much information that can help me.

The second important phase was creating my own Biggest Loser Campus in my home.





Second:  Campus Circumstances

I broke down just some of the contestants circumstances at the Biggest Loser ranch that lead to their successes:

- No work
- No life responsibilities
- Healthy Food
- Trainers, Nutritionists, Doctors
- Support - Each other
- Journal - food log, fitness log
- Confessional
- 6+ Hours Exercise
- Fitness Equipment
- Taking care of their bodies - icing, massage, stretching

I took the time to implement as many of these circumstances (even if in modified versions) for myself as possible to ensure the best chances of success.  Here is where I am currently at:

No work - I got efficient.
I still have work, but I take a break every hour to get up and go do something.  It clears my mind and actually makes me more productive knowing I am working in hour buckets.  I also don't work after 6p.  I read that you are only half as productive after 6p due to mental fatigue - so I would be literally wasting time trying to get stuff done.  Better use of time to go in early than it is to stay late.

No life responsibilities - I got selfish.
I realized that I use my husband as an excuse to not exercise (we should spend time together, he wants to watch that movie) and to not make healthy food choices (he is 140lbs and has poor eating habits).  So, I told my husband we would have date night once a week for the next few months, other than that he is on his own in terms of entertainment, meals, and clean up.  He was thrilled and found his own project that he could immerse himself into while I am focusing on me. =) 

Healthy Food - I shop just for me and I plan ahead.
Until last month I had my groceries delivered to the house.  I could order in excess and someone would bring it all here for me - no one had to see the double stuff Oreos in my cart - my cart is ONLINE.  Now, I shop about once a
week.  Debbie Meyer Green Bags are awesome for keeping fruits and veggies fresh.  I get rotisserie chicken and strip it down into white and dark meat.  Dark meat gets added to the dogs food, and I put the white meat in one cup
servings in zip lock bags.  One in the fridge, rest in the freezer.  They thaw quickly and can be used as is, or added to any meal.  We hear them say on the show all the time - they have to plan ahead for meals.

I have made my kitchen success friendly.  I have all of my fruits and vegetables on a shelf in the fridge - not in the drawer where I can't see them.  All of my hubby's crap food is down in that drawer now.  I keep fruits out on the counter so when I come into the kitchen I don't see tempting junk food and instead see healthy food choices in my kitchen all the time.

I allow myself to be creative with my meals.  Thomas' Double Fiber Honey Wheat English Muffin toasted with 2TBSP Greek Yogurt holding down a bed of craisins with a turkey burger with onion on top.  Bowl of raspberries with a few chow mien noodles for crunch on top.

Food is the one part we have all dreaded from past "diet's" - this meal plan can be as exciting as you make it. =)

Trainers - Doing what the site tells me to do, plus more when/if I can.  I also enlisted the help of my cousin Stephanie who used to be heavy when we were younger.  She made her health a priority for her and now she has a competition weight of 108 and an "every day" weight of 118 - 121.  She has been a personal trainer and has credentials of other healthy medical terms I don't really understand.  Most recently she joined the Army Reserves (I think she is 38) so she could have the physical challenge of going through boot camp.  Plus she gets paid while she is doing it, and the benefits will help her with continuing her education and home loans.

She is giving me weekly projects to work on. This week it is to journal about how I feel when I am exercising.  This is to have a documented gauge later to compare for improvements, and also it is about listening to my body and how it FEELS.  Also, she had me measure myself at my belly button.  She said that is the bad fat at your belly button is what  gives us the heart disease, diabetes, etc.  So that will be the big number to change.

Nutritionists - Internet baby!  Recipes, tips, nutritional breakdown, available fruits/vegetables and how to cook or prepare them with ingredients I like.  What foods do for you, how they benefit your body's natural processes, etc.  Internet is amazing!

Doctors - Had a physical not too long ago, all levels checked, all good.

Support - The BLC site!  My niece.  My husband.  My Mom.

Confessional - This blog. =)

6+ Hours Exercise - I have made moving my NUMBER ONE priority!
I do the site exercises most days.  Some days I just don't want to - and so I don't, but I made it a rule that I can only skip one day at a time.  So that means the next day I have to do something - not to make up for the day before, just have to be physical that day.  Some days a girl just doesn't feel like going to the party. =)  I also am adding in ways to be physical all day long that I think had a big impact on my success this week.

    - I park way far away from doors.

    - I stop working every hour and go for a little walk around - just to get up, get blood moving, stay active.  Additionally on the work topic, I am done working by 6p.  I read that after 6p you are only half as productive as you are during the business day.  So you are literally wasting your time trying to get stuff done.  Better to start early the next day then try to push it at night.

    - I take the dogs in the yard with plush toys and walk around the yard picking up and throwing dog toys over and over again - even if they aren't chasing them.  I climb the little hills in my yard over and over again to         build stamina and get over my fear of slipping and falling. =)

    - I completely gutted and cleaned out all of my closets.  I am overhauling other areas of my house with my goal of success in mind.

    - In that vein, I have seized half of our basement for my workout area - pulling together all of the work out equipment I have obtained over the years and has been stored in different places throughout the house.  I have music, I can see a TV if I want to watch a movie instead, I have a fan that I can run on me at all times to stay cool, I got some foam flooring pieces that go together like a puzzle from Sam's Club (33 sq ft for  $21.97!) for under all of the equipment and gave me an area on the floor to stretch and do floor exercises.
   
    - I spent 5 hours steam cleaning almost everything in my basement.  Including all of the exercise equipment since the dust on it was a little crazy.

    - I turn on Pandora.com and dance for a few songs.  It brightens my mood and it is a great physical activity.


Equipment
From my previous weight loss attempts I have collected:  a treadmill, a bowflex, bowflex free weights, small 3lb hand weights, exercise ball, bicycle with bike trainer for indoor riding.  I am not an outdoor exercise girl yet - I prefer air conditioning and instant access to bathrooms.  I am sure that will change. =)


Taking care of their bodies - icing, massage, stretching
I am stretching all the time.  In the line at the bank I will push my shoulders down and count to 10.  Before I head up the stairs I hold onto the railing and I put my leg out behind me and stretch, or stretch my hamstrings, or whatever.

I have a great icing pack that freezes in 20 minutes that I got at a dog show.  I also have made some back up packs with the wash cloth method here:

http://www.ehow.com/how_4901398_make-ice-pack-towel-ziplock.html


I may try these:  http://www.ehow.com/how_4718980_make-homemade-ice-packs.html

I joined Massage Envy.  For $49/month you get a massage.  They roll over so if you don't use them in one month, you will have two the next month.  You have to sign up for a year, but they waive the membership fee if you sign up after your first massage.  They have locations everywhere.  Some locations do facials too (sign up at one of those if you plan - otherwise there is a "small fee" to use another Massage Envy to get that service.  www.massageenvy.com

This has significantly helped me become more aware of my body, the knots, and how I can improve on my range of motion.




All of these, along with many others can only help to achieve my goals and create a more fit and healthy environment for myself for the long term.

Have I mentioned.. I am SO losing this weight!

Know-It-All Syndrome

I have found the BLC group that I am in to be an amazing resource with my brand new open mind that I just unlocked after years of a horrible case of "Know-It-All Syndrome".  

Know-It-All Syndrome is a horrible condition where a person self inflicts their pride as a barrier to any incoming new knowledge.  With the technology advancements these days and how readily available new or alternate ideas can be via hundreds of cable channels, internet and mobile coupled with social networking, cases of "Know-It-All Syndrome" are at their all time high and very hard to reverse.  Most often the subject has no idea they are even inflicted with the condition but they are depleting all of their resources trying to keep their mind closed on all of their previous thoughts and ideas.  It is very sad to watch those who suffer with it day in and day out and I consider myself very fortunate to be cured for good.

I am so doing this!

Ugly Fruit

I have made a commitment to try new fruits and vegetables. Those memories form childhood over horrible, slimy, canned vegetables is rooted (haha funny pun) deep on our brains and it takes a bit to get past those aversions.

One benefit has been I am so happy to have such a robust internet at my disposal during this weigh loss journey. There are tips for success, stories of failure, inspiring before and after photos, video workouts by professionals and amatuers alike, recipes from all over the world and more!

When it comes to the vegetables I generally search on recipes that contain ingredients that I like along with a new vegetable choice. That way I can prepare it with flavors that I like and appreciate and that makes trying new things so much easier.

I had the opportunity to try Romanesco when we went home to visit. My brother is a produce dealer and he obtained this special treat.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romanesco_broccoli

Romanesco. Prepared: Steamed. Texture: Cauliflower. Taste: Imagine 3 cauliflower florets and 1 broccoli floret in your mouth at the same time. I would definitely have it again. =)

I was recently was at the grocery store and saw the Ugly fruit. Although expensive, I wanted to at least try one - the name alone made me chuckle. If you are unaware, It is the size of a huge grapefruit and looks like it is rotting inside by its shape.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ugli_fruit

The "directions" sticker instructed me to cut it in half and treat it like a grapefruit. Ok, I remember my mother eating grapefruit when I was growing up.. that means taking a paring knife around the outside edge between the flesh (juicy part)" and the rind and then cut between each section. Use a pointed spoon to scoop the flesh out.

From Wikipedia: The taste is often described as more sour than an orange and less bitter than a tangerine, however, and is more commonly guessed to be a lemon-tangerine hybrid.

I would further the above description as less citrus tasting than an orange, and more bland than a tangerine. The most MILD lemon taste ever if it could even be compared to the taste of lemon. I wouldn't consider eating it like an orange - although the inside is very very juicy, the outside of each wedge is tough and fibrous, and I am not a "pulp" texture or flavor fan. =)

Try one if you haven't - exploring new foods is fun. =)

Stretching: Shin Splints

This post has REALLY helped me. So I wanted to put the contents here so I can access it, and it is available to anyone who is reading these now or later. =)  It was compiled by one of my BLC group members.

++++++++++++

I'm an athletic trainer and work with athletes all the time that have shin splints. I have several suggestions.

1. It is extremely important to stretch your calf muscles. You have 2 major muscles in your calf. If you don't stretch both of them prior to exercise you WILL get shin splints.

a. The first stretch is for the gastrocnemius muscle. Standing on a stair with your heels
hanging off the stair. Keep your legs straight and relax your feet. Let your heels drop off the step. Hold for 30 seconds and repeat.

b. The second stretch is for the soleus muscle. Repeat the steps as above, but this time rather than keeping your legs straight, unlock your knees. Again hold for 30 seconds and repeat.

NOTE: Not all your muscle fibers go in a straight line so I always recommend adding angles...repeat the above two stretches, but, rotate your toes towards each other and repeat rotating toes away from each other. These are a little awkward, but the work.

2. ALWAYS ice your shins for 20 minutes following activites/workout.

3. You can try icing your shins before exercise for 20 minutes, too.

4. Are you wearing old shoes? Shoes wear out on the inside faster than they do on the outside. If you don't have relatively new shoes, you may want to invest in a new pair.

5. Do you have appropriate arch support? Many of us lack the support we really need in our arches and it manifests itself by giving us shin pain.

I would start here and see if you notice a change. Don't expect quick results. It takes a LONG LONG time for this to completely go away. However, the more often you are able to stretch the quicker you may feel some results. Also, you may want to massage the front muscle...if I remember that one is the anterior tibialis. (You may want to google them to better understand.)

Good luck!

Running Barefoot

Yay Video Time: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XrOgDCZ4GUo&feature =related

There are many videos out there about how we run. I never had a clue that there was even an "option" on how we run. Some say if you run while you are barefoot, you instantly will feel the difference of how you take the impact more in the middle of your foot than directly on your heel. Others still advocate shoe wear, but you can actually train yourself to walk or run correctly. I have been working on this while on the treadmill (I have no formal training and I have only watched two videos - I am by no means any type of expert) but I can easily adjust where I am landing on my feet with just a little thought and consideration.

Just something to consider....

Food Movies

One of the many tactics that I am using towards my success is to really learn about foods. What is in them, where do they come from, how are they processed, what do they do for my body. My research mode of choice? Netflix!

I love watching Food documentaries. =)

Today we watched King Corn -

From IMDB:
King Corn is a feature documentary about two friends, one acre of corn, and the subsidized crop that drives our fast-food nation. In King Corn, Ian Cheney and Curt Ellis, best friends from college on the east coast, move to the heartland to learn where their food comes from (after they find corn in a DNA analysis of their hair). With the help of friendly neighbors, genetically modified seeds, and powerful herbicides, they plant and grow a bumper crop of America's
most-productive, most-subsidized grain on one acre of Iowa soil. But when they try to follow their pile of corn into the food system, what they find raises troubling questions about how we eat-and how we farm.

Quotes from the movie: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1112115/quotes

Others that I have equally enjoyed:

Fast Food Nation - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0460792/quotes

Food, Inc. - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1286537/

No Impact Man - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1280011/
Movie Trailer - http://noimpactproject.org/movie/
http://noimpa ctproject.org/ (how you can participate)

I know I have to get real about what I am putting in my body, and these have definitely helped. =)

I'm Not The Fat Girl Anymore

There is something that drives us all here. Something in the show, something in ourselves that causes us to put in that credit card information into this site and bring us all here. Something that flipped at switch in your head that you finally said, enough is enough. After all of these seasons of watching BL, I am gonna get up and make a change in my life. We continue to experience these as we move through our personal journey. Influences we never considered. Experience we never listened to before. Feeling proud of others accomplishments and supporting them rather than envious and self-loathing. We switch our self-hating thinking around to support ourselves on this journey, find a confidence we have never experienced, and we find the path to health and weight loss that we we can sustain with habit formed efforts the rest of our lives.

One of the poignant moments for me so far in this journey was a website I found. LessJess started to lose weight in 2002. She has lost 140lbs. Her FAQs are a wealth of information, but contained in there was her "switch".

From: http://jessfaq.blogspot.com/

6. What motivated you to lose the weight?

Here is the tale of how my weight loss journey started...

Soon after we were married my husband, Aaron, brought up the topic of me "getting healthy," but I'd fly off the handle. I'd cry and say, "I am FAT! Why did you marry me if you didn't love me as I am!?" I felt personally attacked because I believed that being Fat and being Me were the SAME THING. For him to suggest that I should try to lose weight was a heartbreaking slap in the face!

Aaron then held me tight and assured me that he truly loved me, and that he could not live with anyone else. He then asked me, "If you lost your finger would you still be you?" I softly sobbed, "Yeah..."

"And I would still love you just as much. What if you lost your whole hand, would you still be you?" Again I agreed that I would still be me.

He then asked, "If you lost some weight would you still be you?"

Here I wavered. I was a Fat Girl!!! Fat was ME! I got mad and argued "But I am FAT! That's WHO I AM!!!"

But I knew that wasn't true anymore, and my paradigm suddenly shifted! I was finally able to see that being "Me" and being Fat were NOT the same. I knew it was true! As soon as I accepted that thought I knew that I would be able to get healthy & lose weight, and I have!!!

Her tips are also a fantastic one stop shop for information.

http://jesstips.blogspot.com/<>
Her story spoke to me. It is literally what made me say, "I tried the free sites, but they don't have the community that I am looking for - I am going to the BLC like I originally wanted to.

Until then I had definitely gone to the place where it was ok, "I'm the Fat Girl" That was part of my identity. It was the core of a lot of my humor. I had just figured, I had never been thin, I have no idea what that feels like and so I have no drive to go there, I have no knowledge of who thin Lorelei would even be. Would she be more bitchy? Would she be more afraid for her safety? Would she be taken advantage of and not have the weight to defend herself? Thin Lorelei was a scary concept. A complete unknown to me.

Well I am on a journey to meet thin Lorelei. I am sure she will turn out to be just fine. If not, I'll be so healthy and strong by then, I'll just kick her ass. =)

OMG I am sweating...

Here's how it goes. I am.. wherever. I am moving around, we are outside, or it is just hot. It starts with a light glistening on my face. One that I generally take an entire hand and wipe it across my face quickly so it doesn't start to roll down my face in beads. Are they sweating? Is it just me? When was the last time I washed my hand - ew. Maybe I am having a hot flash? I haven't had any yet and I am 39, so that's probably not it. Could I be having a heart attack? I don't think so. Are they sweating now? Nope, not a glisten to be found on them. It's only me who is sweating. Oh great.. now I can feel beads of sweat falling down the very little indent of my spine and into my pants. OMG I hope I don't have sweaty ass crack in these pants after sitting in that chair. What if I leave a sweat mark when I get up. Arrrgh!

I realized I have conditioned myself over the years to believe that for me, the fat person, sweat = disgusting. I am actually not self conscious about my 300-ish pounds until I am sweating. Sweat = failure to live as a productive fat person. Sweaty fat me is smelly, stinky, need to powder under everything and it just must be awkward for those around me.

Now we have introduced exercise to the mix just a few days ago. This is yet another area of mental exploration. I choose the treadmill for exercise, but I the goal in my head is always endurance over exertion - b/c why? Less sweat (and from a simple odds standpoint, less chance for injury). To combat this, I take breaks between my miles to cool off (literally the point of dry) and then start over on the next mile. I realize that not only am I dealing with the fear of injury during exercise (shin splints, falling, knee injuries), I am also dealing with the sweat fear. I have a fan directly on me on high, a spritzing bottle and towel to wipe myself off, but that is still not enough. I question, why do I feel this way if no one is around? I finally realize when I break it down that sweat really doesn't = disgusting for me, it = uncomfortable.

I am very uncomfortable with that sweat. It reminds me of times when I would go out for a day with friends and have heat rash under my breasts or my belly or between my legs from all of the sweat for hours in areas where it definitely is not normally. That eventually brought me completely inside the house. Add on that I am a gamer, and I am about as pasty as a raised doughnut.

I don't have a simple fix for this one this time. Something that I can just tell myself to logically rationalize that my fear is unreasonable... yet. This will be one that I will have to work on, and push through to get past it. It will come. In the meantime... ugh.. sweat. =)

Add-on:

After I made this post I called my niece to talk. I told her about my blog and this post in particular. A few months into her work out routine she would come up stairs and have sweat on her shirt down to her waist on the front and back of her shirt. She looked like she poured a gallon of water over her head slowly. She made a very good point for me on the sweat issue. To re-think about how Jillian says (she does the 30 day) that you have to create energy, to increase the heat, to cause your body to sweat. So if you aren't sweating during your workout you aren't exerting and pushing you body past "normal". Each bead of sweat is another affirmation that you are shedding this weight, burning those calories, and are going to be a fit and healthier person. So now it is just a matter of repeating that statement, and thinking that thought rather than all of the negative ones that have kept me fat all these years, and avoiding sweating!

There's cat puke on the treadmill...

4/6/2010 - There's cat puke on my treadmill. Yeah.. cat puke. Not just a little bit, but a huge meal size, with some other random gastrointestinal juice that has dried in the tread. Ga-ross.

In my old thought processes, the cat puke on the treadmill would mean I can't get on the treadmill, I mean, there's cat puke on it... right? Before I can get on there I will need to get the steam cleaner out and get that off of there and sanitized, then let it dry so water doesn't get into the mechanisms...

I would use any excuse I could to not choose to work out and be healthy. I don't have the right clothes, I don't have enough time, if I get injured how am I going to do the stuff that I have to do.. all the way down to.. there's cat puke on the treadmill. Ridiculous right?

I have found that all of the excuses sound really silly when you are telling it to someone who knows better. The people know that the lack of workout clothes, or lack of time are all excuses.. even the cat puke. They know that if you want it to happen, you can make it happen - but it comes down to just that.. you .. have.. to.. choose.. to.. make.. it.. happen. Simple as that.

One of my excuses recently was, "Well the Biggest Loser contestants are working out 6 hours a day, they have access to top quality equipment, facilities, nutritionists, with no interruptions or life responsibilities to interrupt them... it is no wonder they lost all of that weight in such a short period of time. Oh really Lorelei? You have that kind of time, you have the equipment, you have the nutrition, you have a cousin who is a successful gym owner and fitness trainer, you have no one else to worry about.. but you (hubby takes care of himself).. so really... what is your excuse again?

I have put the excuses to bed. This journey isn't about anyone but me. It isn't about who has what, or what health issue, or what access to what food or trainer.. this is all about me, my life, my happiness, my health, my fitness, my strength.

No excuses.

Taking care of me!

Being morbidly obese means that I am not taking care of myself. Now that I have started to explore the care and preservation of the only vehicle that will get me through this life and I realize now there are other areas where I wasn't taking care of other parts of my body either.

I used to giggle with a little bit of pride when a facial technician would ask me what skin care products I used on my face. I would proudly proclaim "soap". I could see their brows furrow with concern over the little bit of broken vessels on my face and the overall dryness of my face. Now I realize they were probably thinking, "Why would you do that to your skin when you KNOW that is not good for it". Well guess what lady, that's not all I am neglecting.

I have very dry hands and feet - and I own many bottles of lotion, yet I don't take the time to apply it after my shower. That changes today.

I used to pull all nighters all the time.. just for the fun of it. I don't do that much anymore, but I also rarely get more than 5 or 6 hours of sleep per night.. did you know that if you get under 8 hours of sleep you have a 70% chance of being obese? That changes today.

I commit to myself that my body is now my number one priority - the care of my body, the preservation of my life and concentrated effort to overhaul the years of neglect it has suffered.

I am sorry body. I am sorry I neglected you all these years. I will show you from here on out how important you really are to me.

=)

Happy Happy Fun Time

Old Thought Process: Exercise is painful, uncomfortable and boring. Most people drag their rears through it with griping and frustration.

My 27 year old niece has lived with us for a few years now. When she started working out she would call her exercise time "Happy Happy Fun Time".

The other day I was walking on the treadmill and my head started to make a left turn to "OMG I Hate This Time". I instantly recognized the negative monster creeping up on me and decided to thwart its efforts. I started to think about "Happy Happy Fun Time".

My father was a very social man. Whenever we would run into someone he knew, they, of course, would ask how he was doing. Without fail my Dad always answered with grandiose responses, "I am fantastic!" or "I am awesome!" It always put a smile on the other person's face and they had an inquisitive look of wonder on what he was doing to be so super!

As I got older, I finally asked him why every single time someone asks him how he is doing he says "awesome" "fantastic" "super duper" - I challenged, he can't always feel like way. He told me that it was his self-fulfilling prophecy. He had started doing it about 15 years before. At the time he started it was rare if he really felt fantastic or awesome, but after a few years - even he started to believe it. Now he was convinced that is how he felt every time someone asked him how he was.

He had re-trained his brain to believe something so simple, but has a huge impact in the long run. It made so much sense to me that I would carry on his legacy starting in 1995 by responding the same way he did when someone asks me how I am doing. I'm not sure when it happened, but I definitely believe it today.

New Thought Process: Anything that has a habit of being negative in your head can be re-examined, re-defined, and even renamed to produce a different outcome, feeling and effect than previously had before.

Thanks awesome niece and my Dad! =)

Counting Calories

Old Thought Process: I always had the fantasy that I would have to count calories just while I lost weight in the beginning, but then I would get to the point where I could "listen" to my body and "know" what and how much it needs and I wouldn't have to count calories anymore.

Uhhh.. yeah right. =)

I am brand new here (day 2), so I am setting up my foods. As I am entering an entire recipe of a homemade dish to determine it's nutritional info (into another site b/c this site's meal analyzer thing confused me) and I get to one ingredient - an entire can of Hunt's Diced Tomatoes No Salt Added.

Hmm, I can't enter the entire can, it wants to know how many cups I added. A quick search of the web and I come up with the Nutritional Information for the can. A serving is 1/2 cup (126g) but it doesn't tell me how many servings are in the can. Why not? Ok, so the can has 14.5oz. Ounces?! More Google Search. Calculator determines there are 4 ounces in a half cup. Ok so 14.5 divided by 4 means that there are 3.625 servings in the can.

....

First of all.. I have to just used three websites, a search engine and a calculator to just ADD it to one site to divide it into servings to enter it into this site...

Second.. 3.625 servings? Really?

Right there is the secret behind the success of NutriSystem. People are sitting there with recipe books, calorie counter books, a notepad and a calculator in the middle of their living room in the Midwest. It is very late, way past their bedtime, and just as he or she realizes they have spent more time trying to figure out what is in their food, than they did to buy it at the store, bring it home, prepare and consume it.. there is Marie Osmond with her huge Chiclets(R) gum teeth telling you that even with her busy schedule she can maintain her eating program and lose weight b/c the NutriSystem meals are pre-packaged in perfect serving sizes and delivered right to her door.. plus, they're delicious! Bonus! Free Shipping!

"Hey, can you hand me the cordless?"

So what this tells me is, I can't have success here if I am not committed to look at food not only from a taste (gotta stay happy eating) and calorie standpoint but also from an energy planning standpoint. I can't find myself at the end of the day missing most of my protein, way over my sodium and I only have 100 calories left for the day.

In order for me to be successful, I need to study food. I need to LEARN this information. Break it down and study it like an alien language. Clearly with the confusion on the labels I can't rely on them unless I have a calculator at all times. My days of only considering food for their three T's - temperature, texture and taste are over. =)

New Thought Process: I commit to planning my daily menu online so I can learn what about nutrition so I can put the best fuel into this machine. I commit to make sure I have analyzed and reviewed my daily fuel BEFORE I consume it. This is one key to my success.

Blog Purpose

This blog is a replacement to the Biggest Loser Club blog feature within their site - because it sucks. =)