There is something that drives us all here. Something in the show, something in ourselves that causes us to put in that credit card information into this site and bring us all here. Something that flipped at switch in your head that you finally said, enough is enough. After all of these seasons of watching BL, I am gonna get up and make a change in my life. We continue to experience these as we move through our personal journey. Influences we never considered. Experience we never listened to before. Feeling proud of others accomplishments and supporting them rather than envious and self-loathing. We switch our self-hating thinking around to support ourselves on this journey, find a confidence we have never experienced, and we find the path to health and weight loss that we we can sustain with habit formed efforts the rest of our lives.
One of the poignant moments for me so far in this journey was a website I found. LessJess started to lose weight in 2002. She has lost 140lbs. Her FAQs are a wealth of information, but contained in there was her "switch".
From: http://jessfaq.blogspot.com/
6. What motivated you to lose the weight?
Here is the tale of how my weight loss journey started...
Soon after we were married my husband, Aaron, brought up the topic of me "getting healthy," but I'd fly off the handle. I'd cry and say, "I am FAT! Why did you marry me if you didn't love me as I am!?" I felt personally attacked because I believed that being Fat and being Me were the SAME THING. For him to suggest that I should try to lose weight was a heartbreaking slap in the face!
Aaron then held me tight and assured me that he truly loved me, and that he could not live with anyone else. He then asked me, "If you lost your finger would you still be you?" I softly sobbed, "Yeah..."
"And I would still love you just as much. What if you lost your whole hand, would you still be you?" Again I agreed that I would still be me.
He then asked, "If you lost some weight would you still be you?"
Here I wavered. I was a Fat Girl!!! Fat was ME! I got mad and argued "But I am FAT! That's WHO I AM!!!"
But I knew that wasn't true anymore, and my paradigm suddenly shifted! I was finally able to see that being "Me" and being Fat were NOT the same. I knew it was true! As soon as I accepted that thought I knew that I would be able to get healthy & lose weight, and I have!!!
Her tips are also a fantastic one stop shop for information.
http://jesstips.blogspot.com/<>
Her story spoke to me. It is literally what made me say, "I tried the free sites, but they don't have the community that I am looking for - I am going to the BLC like I originally wanted to.
Until then I had definitely gone to the place where it was ok, "I'm the Fat Girl" That was part of my identity. It was the core of a lot of my humor. I had just figured, I had never been thin, I have no idea what that feels like and so I have no drive to go there, I have no knowledge of who thin Lorelei would even be. Would she be more bitchy? Would she be more afraid for her safety? Would she be taken advantage of and not have the weight to defend herself? Thin Lorelei was a scary concept. A complete unknown to me.
Well I am on a journey to meet thin Lorelei. I am sure she will turn out to be just fine. If not, I'll be so healthy and strong by then, I'll just kick her ass. =)
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