It's time to stand up...

Ever since I can remember I have loved to perform.  Aside from my daily dramatics with my friends and family my entire school career was filled with music and theater performances.

- 3rd grade when I had a solo singing "You Can't Get A Man With A Gun" from the musical Annie Get Your Gun
- 4th grade I sang "Kids" from Bye Bye Birdie as a duet with a classmate.  I had on my Mom's house coat, a wig with rollers in it, a kerchief and huge slip on shoes.
- 5th and 6th Grade I was in the All-State Chorus and we performed several concerts including at the State Capitol.
- 7-9th I was in the choir and small groups.
-10-12th I was in the choir and small groups including a quartet with three close friends.  I went to a summer choir camp at Bemidji State University.  I was also in several theater productions (Animal Crackers, Sound of Music, Bette & Boo's Wedding) as well as participating in Speech Club.  As a senior in Speech I would compete in the Humorous category and advance to the Nationals in Golden, CO and end up placing 100th in the nation.
- In college I would continue to be in choir, I was the choir manager for a few years as well as participating in theater productions.

Then... life happened.  I took a few improv classes just for fun, but I haven't returned to the stage.

Now with my new found outlook on life that has included an overhaul between my ears and one on the scale I have started to really itch for a creative and artistic outlet.  Something that will put me back on the stage, to entertain and perform.  Given my current schedule I just don't think that I could make the commitment to a theater production... and so the best thing I could think that would rely on just me, and fit within my hours... stand up comedy.

I toyed with the idea of doing stand up for a few years now.  Especially when Kate (my niece) and I were living together the idea was very strong.  Kate is funnier than I am.  However, Kate has no interest in being on stage.  I thought if we could combine our powers we could come up with something really promising.  I have talked to Kate about this over a dozen times in the last two years, but I haven't really done anything to make it happen.

Earlier this year I had the opportunity to stand on the stage at the Jazz at Lincoln Center in NYC as a prep for our Upfront presentations.  It was a few of us and we were getting a tour of the backstage and stage area and an explanation of where everyone would enter/exit and be seated.  I don't remember a word that Arielle said while we were on that stage.  I was up in my own head relishing the rush of the comfortable feeling of standing on that stage looking out at the audience seats, the light and sound guys in the booth and knowing... I was home.

I have thought about that moment easily a thousand times since that day.  I am now taking actions to make that happen.

I have set up a system for collecting and refining on stage material.  I have enlisted the brilliant and funny Kate to help me.  I am going to local clubs to get a feel for the audience, and see what I can/can't get away with in my material.  My goal is to have a polished 8 min set ready to go in three months and then find some places to perform and see how I do.

Exciting!

Derailing the pain train...

The starting point to my path of delays and derailment is when I start the "pain train" - as long as I am pulling around the car about how I didn't work out today I may as well add the car about how my dog needs a bath, my house is dirty, my yard needs to be mowed, the neighbors must think I am trashy, I could have been X weight by now, I should have taken better care of my __________, I forgot to take my vitamins, my windows are dirty, and on and on. Next thing I feel hopeless because I have belittled myself of all of these things I shoulda/coulda/woulda done if I were just a "better person".

The power of the mind in weight loss was recently magnified to me as I watch the Extreme Makeover: Weight loss Edition episodes. When Chris Powell takes them on their first workout his goal is to mentally break them and put them into a situation where they either have to fight through it, or they will quit and walk away. When it gets really rough you can see their eyes start to glaze over and you know that voice in their head has started... you can't do this, what the hell were you thinking, you better walk out of here right now, he is trying to hurt/injure you, this is impossible.... and that voice is SO LOUD... they can't hear Chris screaming at them right next to them encouraging them to do it, get up, they CAN do this, finish it, do the last rep, move on and SUCCEED at this! That inner strength, to be your own Chris Powell, to be your own life coach, your inner Jillian/Bob, to know that your body will do SO MUCH MORE than what your mind falsely thinks you can do is something we have to rely on every day when we make decisions about our journey and ultimately our successes and our not as successful moments on our personal journey.

No Excuses

Biggest Loser is back.  Originally being the program to motivate me to start making my change in January 2010, now it is January 2012 and this seasons "theme" seems to be speaking directly to me (and I am sure almost everyone else out there who wants to make a weight/health/lifestyle change)... NO EXCUSES.

I have no excuse for my absence from here, from Spark People or from my routine.  I could tell you that I was working too hard, or that I didn't have time, I was exhausted at the end of the day, etc.

The reality is.. I stopped making myself a priority.

I kept on my organic/clean eating for the most part.  I definitely would stray from my rule of organic only here and there during the holidays, during a stay at a friends house, when some yummy holiday treats came into the office, etc.  But on a day to day basis I was eating the same as I was before.

Where I was really lacking, is the area where I usually struggle.. and that is with the fitness.

I have noticed a pattern of people on the Biggest Loser site and Spark People as I read people's blogs, see their patterns of behavior, etc.  On an individual level, people either "get" the fitness, and struggle with the food; or the "get" the food and struggle with the fitness.  I am definitely the later.  When you can make both work - that is when you really see success.

During the later half of 2011 I ate as I was when I was working out, BUT I wasn't working out anymore.  So now I am 30 lbs up from my lowest weight which I registered in May at 229.  I then went to 240 in June, back to 233 in August (started working out again), and then back up to my current 259.

The result?
- 30lb weight gain
- My clothes don't fit me as well anymore and some items that I had don't fit at all.
- I feel winded after doing a fraction of things I used to be able to do
- I overall feel less healthy.  Less motivated to do anything outside of work and sleep.

Here are the things that I stopped doing and now I am going to restart as the lack of these items had a huge impact on my weight gain:

- Log my food into Spark People every day
- Stay within my calorie range + working out
- Do 90 minutes of fitness 6 days a week - I am WORTH this time investment in myself
- 7 hours of sleep at night
- Two cups of caffeine tea per day (no creamer / 1 tsp raw organic sugar)

Goal:
The first goal will be to get to 225.  This will be 4lbs less than my lowest, and back to my 6th grade weight.

I will not beat myself up for this.  I am a work in progress, a recovering food addict, and I will make this work.

No Excuses.

=)

Let's have some Kiwi Berries...

Kiwi Berries or Baby Kiwi's or Passion Poppers as they are called here are a new treat that I have found at the Farmer's Markets and at Harris Teeter's.  They are cute, delicious and good for you.  I take off the little top, and the hard base piece on the bottom and pop the whole thing into your mouth.  It is an explosion of Kiwi taste, most times much sweeter than their adult counterparts.  Enjoy!

Just My Size

Now that I am back to work I needed some nylons/tights. I had a brand new pair of tights that I had owned for over 15 years that I wore for the first two weeks of work, but after several washings and some runs in the abdomen part - they were literally falling off of me and had to be tossed. I really wanted to get new tights at Lane Bryant but I just wasn't in the mood to head over there (way past my house). So I stopped at CVS.

Over fifteen years ago I used to by Just My Size nylons/tights at CVS. Now as I stand here in the isle and look at the package I was SO disappointed. In my head, "what do you mean the weight cut off is 300? I am 330.. I wonder if they will fit. Those ones that I bought from Target are too tight in the upper leg, but I think that they were a smaller range than these. WTH, did the Just My Size people not get the memo that we are a heavier nation now than we were 15 years ago? Why wouldn't they make these bigger instead of making them smaller..." I put the package back on the shelf.

Brow furrowed and scowling face - I was ticked off. I really didn't want to go to Lane Bryant but I was worried that they would be too tight given that I was about 30lbs over the 300 / 5'7" max size on the back of the box. As I started to walk to the front of the store feeling very defeated I realized.. omg.. I am 233lbs! Not 333lbs!

With a huge grin, and literally laughing out loud I go back to the shelf and grab a few boxes and head up to check out.

Clearly after losing these last 69lbs in a year my brain hasn't caught up with my body. =)

Let's make a wrap...

Healthy Wrap

A tortilla or Mediterranian wrap is my go-to food.  I generally eat this once or twice per day.

Nutritional Breakdown looks something like this:

Calories: 458

Carbs: 48

Fat: 11

Protein: 53

Start with a whole wheat organic tortilla wrap, or an organic Mediterrian wrap.

Place a cooked meat of choice on one half of the wrap.

Put blue cheese, feta cheese, or any cheese of your liking on top of the meat.  If you aren't going to put cheese, then add the meat when the wrap is half-way done heating or your meat will dry it out.

I generally put the wrap on a pan in the cold oven and then set the temp for 350.  Generally by the time it pre-heats the wrap is lightly toasted and ready to remove from the oven.  You want your wrap lightly toasted enough so you can still fold it in half after you have placed all of your ingredients inside.  If you toast it too long, it will crack and shatter once you start to fold or pick it up.

I top my wraps with:

- My homemade salsa goes on the meat/cheese combo

- Carrot slices go on top of the salsa

- Fage greek yogurt goes on the top half of the wrap

- Dijon mustard goes on top of the yogurt

- Alfalfa sprouts go on top of the mustard/yogurt

Fold in half and get ready for a flavor explosion.

Enjoy!

Veggie - Carrots, Tomatoes, Onions, Sprouts and Dijon Mustard on a Toasted Mediterranean Flat Bread
 

I didn't have any salsa made that day, so I just used the tomatoes in its place.

Chicken, Carrots, Tomatoes, Dijon Mustard, Greek Yogurt, Sprouts on a Mediterranean Flat Bread

Chicken, Blue Cheese, Mexi-Mix Cheese, Dijon Mustard, Tomatoes, Sprouts on a Mediterranean Flat Bread.

Turkey, Salsa, Greek Yogurt, Dijon Mustard and Sprouts on a Whole Wheat Organic Toasted Tortilla.

Let's make some chicken...

Chicken Breasts

Chicken is great to have on hand.  Add it as meat to a sandwich or wrap, add it to the top of a salad, add it to soups - it is versatile and when prepared ahead of time and frozen - you can have chicken available anytime.

I buy my chicken at the Bethesda Farmer's Market.  There is a meat guy there on Saturday's only and he sells some amazing chicken breasts.  I have to do a big of work when I get them home to remove the excess fat and trim off the tenderloins, but it is worth it.

For this simple recipe you will need:

Chicken breasts - fat removed and tenderloins removed.  I generally bake the breasts and freeze the raw tenderloins for my husband for when he makes his famous chicken curry.

Toppings of your choice can include:

- Lemon Juice

- Lime Juice

- Mrs. Dash or another herb sprinkle

- Dijon Mustard and Garlic Spread

- Plain

- or any other topping of your choice

Spray Pam or lightly smear the bottom of a pan with extra virgin olive oil.  I generally put aluminum foil on the bottom of my pan first.

Place breasts in the pan and cover, smear or sprinkle the topping of your choice.  I bake about 18 breasts in a single day, then I don't have to do it again for a month, so I will do a variety of flavors.

Bake at 350 for 25 minutes.   This time/temp combination creates a chicken breast that is not overdone, is juicy on the inside and is a great addition to any meal.  

These are Lemon Pepper Breasts

Be sure to let the breasts rest at least 15 - 20 minutes before cutting into them.  I generally let mine rest at least 30 minutes, then freeze them whole without cutting.  If you cut into them too early (while they are still hot) all of the juice runs out of them and they quickly become dry.  I take them out of the freezer a day before I want to eat/consume them.  I reheat by cutting into desired thickness of slices and reheating in a pan.  Or, I will add them to an already hot dish (like soup), or just slice them cold and reheat just a little before adding to a salad.

Enjoy!

Let's make some salmon...

Garlic Dijon Smothered Salmon with Lemon Herb Essence

I purchase my salmon from the local farmer's market in Kensington, MD.  The seafood guy there has an amazing selection of fish, shrimp, scallops, etc.  I email him by Thursday of that week and tell him how big of a piece I want as most times I don't get there until later and all of the salmon is sold out.  When I make this recipe I generally get a piece of salmon as long as the tip of my middle finger, up to my elbow.  Then I slice it in smaller pieces, coat and bake them and then freeze them.  I take them out the day before I want to eat them and they reheat very nicely in a pan, or are even delicious cold. =)

Remove the skin from the bottom of the salmon and slice into single serving strips.  Here is a linked video to help you accomplish this task easily.

You will need:

Organic Garlic - I generally use 2 cloves per salmon piece

Organic Lemons - 1 lemon for every two salmon pieces

Organic Dijon Mustard (no calories, if your mustard has calories - read the label)
Extra Virgin Olive Oil or Coconut Oil (1 tsp for every two salmon pieces)

Mrs. Dash or some type of non-salt herb mixture.

Instructions:

Chop garlic very fine - use a spoon or a knife to crush the diced garlic until it gets pasty.  I use the Slap Chop and then I crush with a spoon in a shallow bowl.

Add 2 TBSP Dijon mustard per two salmon pieces

Add 1 TBSP Extra Virgin Olive Oil per 3 salmon pieces

Mix together.  Let rest while you prepare the rest of the dish.

Roll lemons while pressing down on them on the counter to help soften the pulp/fibers inside and release some of the juice.

Slice lemons into semi thick slices. You should get 5 - 6 slices per lemon.  See bottom photo for example of thickness.  If the slices are too thin they will dry out and do not release as much lemon flavor/essence into the bottom of the salmon.

Place lemons on the bottom of a pan covering the entire bottom of the pan.  

FYI - Try not to use aluminum foil when cooking fish as it effects the taste of the fish.  Try to use a glass or pyrex pan if possible.  If you have extra lemon slices that is great.  You can place them on top of the fillets after they are in the pan and sprinkle with some more herb mixture.  If not, no biggie. =)

Sprinkle the herb mixture on top of the lemons in the pan.  Again, the ideas is that as the lemons heat, their moisture will help create the herb-lemon essence moving up through the fish as it bakes.

Smear the garlic/dijon mixture onto each piece of salmon.  Place them on top of the rows of lemon slices in the pan.

Bake at 350 degrees for 20-25 minutes.  Serve immediately, or let rest/cool and then place in containers to be frozen for later use.  DO NOT over bake.

ENJOY! =)

Let's make some salsa...

Wash tomatoes and slice them in half.

Place tomatoes on the best invention ever for slicing/dicing stuff - The Magic Chopper / Chop Wizard / Vidalia Chopper

Another view point





















Get some strength training in and slam down the top to create perfectly diced tomatoes.

Add red and yellow onions also diced in the chop wizard.

 Add jalapenos as desired.

Stir all ingredients together.  Use on everything.  I use this with eggs, on all of my wraps and with salads.

Enjoy!

61 Days...

I am now 61 days into my Facebook Motivational Program and it is going just excellent.  

I took Friday off as a rest day and then wanted to make up for some of the cardio/strength I missed - so yesterday I took my bike outside in the first time that I have owned it in easily 8-ish years and I took took an hour and 50 minute bike ride and I went 9.18 miles.  Thank you Spark People tracking program for allowing me to map exactly where I went with Google Maps then calculating, based on my time and weight, how many calories I burned - which was 745.  A normal day of cardio for me is around 420 calories burned.

I am very proud of this accomplishment and especially since I can still walk the next day.  I was up at 6:30a (sleeping in an hour and a half from my weekday wake up time) and ready to rock and roll. =)

Feeling very proud of myself these days. =)

Biggest Loser 10 Week Challenge and a 5k Training Program - Week 2

Week 2 - 3/16 - 3/22 Report:

Biggest Loser 10 Week Challenge:

- Lost 2.4lbs
- Ran a 5k at a time of 51:44 down from my 60:33 last June. Very proud! =)

- Drank over six 8oz glasses of water every day

- Did standing push ups once a day when I went to the bathroom from all of the water.

- Three times during the week I drank a glass of water with my food which helps fill the stomach and reduces the amount you want to eat.

- Did the last chance workout on top of my regular workout which is 5 more minutes of cardio on my 45 minutes, and 2 core exercises, 2 lower body exercises and 2 upper body exercises.

March 15 - 22nd: 5k Your Way - Week 2 Training Sessions:

Day 1: Walk for 3 minutes, then jog for 1.5 minute. Do 5 cycles of this for a total of 27 minutes. (DONE on 3/15)

Day 2: Walk for 3 minutes, then jog for 1.5 minute. Do 5 cycles of this for a total of 27 minutes. (DONE on 3/17)

Day 3: Walk for 3 minutes, then jog for 1.5 minute. Do 6 cycles of this for a total of 31.5 minutes. (Moving to next week schedule..) 

I am finding this to be harder than I had thought.  I think that I am really bored with the treadmill/bike routine I have been doing for two months now.  The weather is starting to get better and so I might try to do one of these outside to see if that changes the way that I physically feel while/after doing it.

=)

Biggest Loser 10 Week Challenge and a 5k Training Program - Week 1

A year ago when I was on the Biggest Loser Club site I was involved in a Boot Camp group that had an 8 week challenge, mini challenges, inter-team challenges, and side team challenges.  It really became quite overwhelming.  I am still a perfectionist in a lot of ways, and having all of those demands and not being able to meet them all as I had just started from a fitness standpoint was hard for me.  I felt a little defeated each week when I didn't accomplish everything assigned for the week.  Also my motivation wasn't really to change the scale, but how I thought I appeared to the group as someone who wasn't giving 100%.  Don't get me wrong, I had some great experiences and some awesome successes (I LOVE competition!) but overall it was a bit stressful for me just getting into the food changes I was making and what I was just learning about nutrition, and I had just started being physically active.

It is now almost a year later.  I have learned so much more about my nutrition.  My fitness is at a new level.  I have been doing awesome on my "Facebook Accountability Plan" where I am working out 45 mintues of cardio / 45 minutes of strength training 6 days per week.  I am on Day 42 today (Rest Day) and I have been consistent!  The simple idea of posting to Facebook that I didn't get in my workout is terrifying to me and that is what has kept me going.  I know eventually there will probably be a day that I will probably miss for one reason or another - but I am doing everything in my power to prolong that from happening as long as possible. =)

Admittedly, I am getting a little bored in my workout routines.  Therefore the other day when I was reading the message boards on SparkPeople and I saw that a group of people had just finished their Biggest Loser Winter Challenge and they were actively recruiting for their Biggest Loser Spring Challenge - I was intrigued.  10 weeks, weigh-in's are on Wednesday.  There is also one inter-team challenge (ITC) with a bonus for extra points each week.  There are about 17 teams of 25 people each.  It starts 3/9 (first weigh in) and runs through 5/18 (final weigh in).

Hmmm.  Was I ready to take this on?  I remember the overwhelming thoughts from doing this last time.  That is part of the reason that I didn't join any teams when I first came here.  I am on a good steady pace just doing this by myself right now.  Do I want to potentially rock that boat?  

One of my rules: Get and stay out of my comfort zone.  Nothing exciting ever happens in my comfort zone.

Well, I figured I am already doing 90 min/day, the scale is consistently going down each week, I don't have to really change my routine at all and the ITC's are a reasonable addition to my routine.  So why not get some extra support in a team environment again, earn some extra "points" in a group challenge aside from my regular SparkPeople points and just see how it goes.  I signed up on the thread and a few days later I was placed on the Kiwi team.

Then yesterday I logged in to track my nutrition and I see there is a SparkPeople Virtual 5k Your Way Training Program.  You choose if you want to walk, walk/jog, rookie running, running plan, 10k, 1 mile beginner's walk, or 1 mile beginner's run.  I thought - I can do this.  I had been trying the Couch to 5k program to switch up my routine, I already do about 25 minutes on the treadmill each day as it is, I am already interval training in speed or increasing incline every 1/16 of a mile - why not train for a 5k.  At least it will switch up my routine 3 times per week.

Then later in the day I see that my Kiwi team has issued a start-up challenge.  It says, "Let's have a 5k run walk crawl. Starting Monday you need to keep track on how long it take you to do it in minutes. Then you weigh in on Wednesday. Then in Week 10 We can do the same thing. You can see if you got faster or easier on the 5 k. We look forward to setting new records for ourselves!!!!  Post your start times here and your end times here or explain how it is easier at the end."

Well that makes sense.  5k at the start and 5k at the end as a measurement of the difference of a 10 week challenge.  It also corresponds with this 5k training program and it probably would be good to get a new gauge on how long it takes me to do a 5k.  I have only done it once intentionally on my treadmill last July and my time was 60:33 at a 3 incline.

So here is what I have now committed to for this week:

Biggest Loser Challenge:

March 7 - 8th:  Run a timed 5k and post to the thread (plan on doing this Monday 3/7)

March 9th:  First Official Weigh In

March 9th - 15th:  ITC Week 1 - Try something new - Challenge yourself to choose something in your fitness routine that you have never done before.  IE: Workout with Kettlebells, a stability ball, weights, or if you already use them try a new exercise with them.  Just do something of your choice that you have never done for 5 out of the 7 days.  Do 2 sets of 20 reps each of those days.  Or if it is something you time, like a stationary bike, do it for 10 minutes.  Bonus ITC - 4 sets of 20 reps or 20 minutes

For this challenge I am going to choose a chest exercise (or a couple of them) for the BowFlex and do that for the 4 sets of 20 reps to try to get the Bonus points.  My current strength training is 6 core and 9 legs/arms alternating days.  Therefore there aren't many chest exercises going on.  I also printed out all of the possible exercises of the BowFlex in July of last year and have barely done any as I do most of my strength training through SparkPeople so that will be a great way to start to get to know the BowFlex a little better.

March 15th:  Last Chance Workout - add 5 more minutes of cardio to my 45 minutes or 100 Jumping Jacks.  Strength training choose two from each category:

Core:
25 crunches
25 side bends (with or without weights)
25 hip flexors

Lower Body:
25 squats
25 leg lifts
25 bridges

Upper Body:
25 bicep curls
25 boxers
25 pushups (your choice of type)

Other: Drink an extra 8 oz. of water.



SparkPeople 5k Your Way:

March 6 - 12th:  Run a timed 5k and post results to tracker (can be same 5k as above on 3/7)  I figured that since I had to do it for the above, I may as well join this week's 5k race too. =)

March 6 - 12th:  Complete 2 more 5k Your Way Training Sessions (I can do Day 2 during my 5k above)

Day 1: Walk for 4 minutes, then jog for 1 minute. Do 5 cycles of this for a total of 20 minutes.  (DONE on 3/5)
Day 2: Walk for 4 minutes, then jog for 1 minute. Do 5 cycles of this for a total of 20 minutes.
Day 3: Walk for 4 minutes, then jog for 1 minute. Do 6 cycles of this for a total of 30 minutes. 

So that works out quite well.  That one 5k will knock out three commitments on two challenges all in one day and time wise it will probably be just a bit over what I am already doing for cardio for the day anyway. =)

WOOT!  No one can ever say I'm not efficient. =)

40-Renovation -- Part 2 -- Not Alone

I really think that the 40th birthday of someone's life is really a significant moment.  My weight is only part of the 40-renovation.  Mentally I am a different person.  It has changed the way I think about some things, react to other things, care about some things, and discard and not even pay attention to most things that just simply don't matter to me directly.  Now that I have started to pay attention to it (as with most things) I am finding that there are many others out there who go through this same experience.

http://takimag.com/article/10_things_about_turning_40
Hilarious!  Geared more towards men, but applicable to really anyone.  Very funny video in the middle of the page. =)

http://blog.thesource4ym.com/archive/2010/03/19/top-10-signs-youre-turning-40.aspx
Also very funny blog about turning 40.  Again a little more geared towards the men, but men sometimes have a way of just really laying it all out there that in its comedic simplicity just makes me laugh. =)


http://womenatforty.com/about-this-site/
An entire site dedicated to Women at 40.  Life. Love. Reality. In our fortieth year.

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1077/is_n10_v52/ai_19653902/
Excerpt:  Camille Cosby told it to Oprah and Oprah told it to me and, a few weeks ago, I told it to a Sister-friend who was feeling down, distressed and depressed because her life was about to take a dreaded turn. She was turning 40.  What Oprah told me Camille told her and I told my friend is this: "You should be out on your veranda dancing because you are about to experience one of the most magnificent, marvelous events in a woman's life."

http://turning40.net/
Another site dedicated to turning 40.

http://www.theboot.com/2010/06/29/court-yard-hounds-cher/
Cher recounts to Martie from the Dixie Chicks how her 40th year was her best year.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1705115/ - Kevin Smith:  Too Fat for 40!

This isn't a link to an article but a movie.  In typical Kevin Smith style of his Q&A sessions, one audience member asks a question which then turns into a two hour answer session filled the realities of this time period in our lives, lived through a man with way more money and resources than most of us - so in other words not different - but amplified. =)

and of course, Louis CK above. =)

40-Renovation -- Part 1 -- My Journey To Date and My Big Goal

When asked my age, the first thing I think of is - what year is this?  Since I was born in 1970, if the year is 2009 - that means I am turning 39 on 11/2 of that year.  So on January 1, 2010, I knew from the moment the clock turned 12:00:00 AM that I would be turning 40 that year in November.  At the stroke of midnight I was laying in bed, watching a marathon of The Biggest Loser and crying over being fat, unhealthy, not where I thought I should be in my 40th year of life.  My mind was focused on how I had lost a friend to ovarian cancer (she was in her early 40's), and another (in her late 30's) had just been diagnosed with uterine cancer.  This isn't supposed to happen right?  This is abnormal?  Nope.  Two other friends would be diagnosed during the year. One for her second battle with breast cancer, and cancer would take another ones life.  I could only wonder what was my fate with cancer going to be.  I had stopped smoking earlier that year, but I knew I wasn't as healthy as I could be - and what could I do to change that?

It was at that moment that I decided to start on the journey that I am still on, and really feel as though I am only in the first 1/10th of this journey almost 14 months later.

I had to start somewhere with making a change and the most extremely unmaintained part about my life was my health and my weight - so that was where I started.  On this journey I have been exposed and learned about new (to me) ideas about food, fuel, nutrition, health, additives, preservatives, manufactured foods, etc.  It made me turn my focus to movies and programming that would help me learn more about others going through the same things I was going through - Biggest Loser, Heavy, I Used To Be Fat, Thintervention, Cooking Shows, Superfat vs Superskinny, Food Inc, Food Matters, King Corn, Fast Food Nation, PBS' FAT, etc.  It made me rethink everything I was doing about my health and wellness - today and in the future.

Now, 40 is my reality.

In my early 20s I left college, literally ran away from home, moved to another state far away and didn't tell anyone where I was going (friends or family).  I went from Nanny to Corporate Assistant and by my late 20's Project Manager and Web Producer.  I would have my first real relationship that would become a roller coaster of my mid to late 20's and finally end when I was 28-29.

In my 30s I was laid off (literally 16 days after my 30th birthday), and within just a few months I would meet the man that would care for me in a way I thought was never possible both physically and mentally and emotionally.  We would both become beacons for each other in our lives and would grow up and grow together. =)  Shortly after meeting him, and at 380lbs I would have 80% of my stomach removed, lose over 80lbs and that still wouldn't be my wake up call.  I would spend the next decade pretty much living the life that Kevin describes in his 30's. =)  Owning my own business, working from home every day, watching movies, playing online games and video games, and eating my way through every food I had never tried, and if it tasted good, eating most of it again and again.  I would stay between 300 - 320 lbs.  In my late 30's I would finally wise up and marry that amazing man who had been there for me through more than you can even begin to imagine and somehow, still not only really liked me, but loved me like no other.  I would quit smoking after 17 years to prepare to have 20lbs surgically removed from my abdomen that was getting in the way of lots of things in my life - physical fitness, intimacy, general mobility and effecting my body imagine and self esteem.  I would have complications from this surgery and spend 8 months recovering with a huge hole in the front of my body b/c I was so unhealthy, had horrible blood flow and add to that I didn't quit smoking early enough before my surgery.  I would finally be fully healed in August 2009, right before I turned 39.


Then in January 2010 that takes us back to the first paragraph of this blog where I would finally wake up and realize my role in all of this, the responsibility I would need to take for myself, and here I am today.


It has been an amazing 14 months of information discovery and personal growth.  I am very proud of my accomplishments listed here and the many more that I have had each and every day. =)


I make new strides every day but when it comes to the big goals, I like to keep it simple.  The big goal I have set for the year is to be under 200 by the time I turn 41 in November.  So far I am on track to attain that goal in a healthy manner.  That is assuming just a very little bit over 1lb per week between today and 11/02/11. =)

To date here are the efforts, changes and victories I have made so far that put me in a better position of achieving that goal:

- Lost 58lbs since 1/1/10, and I am 135lbs lighter than my heaviest weight ever. =)  I have lost 6lbs of that in just the last 35 days of my new workout routine.
- Lost 6 inches on my waist, 6 inches on my hips, 4 inches on my thigh, 2 inches on my calf, 1.5 inches on my upper arm for a total so far of 19.5 inches lost.  I have lost 2.5 inches of that just in the last 35 days of my new workout program.
- Given up microwaving anything but my kitchen sponge
- Given up all soda or processed drinks other than coffee, water and tea- I now strive for 51% raw foods at each of my meals
- Started minimally cooking my foods to get the most nutrients and live organisms into my system for my fuel and overall health at each meal
- I have evened out my moods and energy levels where I feel fantastic each and every day
- Choose foods and nutrition combinations that keep me feeling satisfied and I am almost never hungry yet I stay within my calorie range almost every day
- Started eating as much local and organically grown foods as possible
- I am learning how to use food and vitamins as medicine to cure minor ailments and keep me healthy 
- Went to more farmer's markets in 2010 than I had been to in my entire life before that year
- Gave up obtaining any new plastic and paper bags.  I have resued what I already have, and have reusable grocery and produce bags
- Gave up all make up until I can find some that do not contain cancer producing ingredients
- Started using all natural and vegan shampoos, conditioners and body and face lotions that do not contain cancer causing ingredients

- I am currently working out 45 minutes of cardio and 45 minutes of strength training 6 days per week and I am on my 34th consecutive day today.
- I have increased my hand weights from 10lbs, to 12.5lbs to 15lbs in just one month of strength training.
- I am open to the fact that I don't know everything about anything and there is always new information that I can learn to make me a better and healthier person for me.
- I love myself and my body more than I ever have and I treat this vehicle with the respect it deserves each and every day
- When in doubt, I turn to my Rules to Happiness and I find one that can help that moment and I apply liberally:   http://onestrongsiren.blogspot.com/p/rules-to-happiness.html

It is amazing what kind of changes I have made in just one year when I put my heart, my open mind, my moving feet, my yearning soul and my love of self all in high power mode and let it guide me to a better place.   I am excited to see what the rest of this year will bring. =)

Adjustments

I have found that I need to make some adjustments to my program - to help achieve my weekly goals and cut some empty calories from my plan. Specifically I want to:

- Workouts first thing in the morning are much more effective on my weight loss goals. I did a week of workouts first thing in the morning and lost 4lbs. I did a week of workouts in the evening and only lost 1.6lbs. All of the science shows the benefits of working out earlier in the day not only from a metabolic standpoint, but also a mental standpoint - I get it out of the way and don't have to stress later in the day about getting it done.

- Cutting out cheese from my diet entirely will help save those critical calories for other more nutritious foods. I will miss you cheese. =)

- Cutting back on my sugar intake needs to be a focus for me moving forward. I got some Agave Nectar and I generally only use Turbinado sugar (raw sugar), the two tablespoons I am adding to my huge iced tea in the morning ends up being a huge percentage of my calories at the end of the day compared to the other foods that I am eating. The Agave Nectar is 60 calories per teaspoon, so it is right in line with the Turbinado, so it will really have to be a reduction of my sugar intake that will help.

Those are the adjustments I am going to work on. =)

Day 23 of My Facebook Motivational Workout Program

While watching The Biggest Loser weeks ago Dr. H recommended to one of

the contestants that she needed to commit to 90 minutes of activity, 6 days a week for the rest of her life to combat her obesity - or she may as well pack her bags and go home. I watched that clip about a dozen times. Many times on the Biggest Loser they don't mention weights, speeds, calories, etc. and this time it really hit home.

Her starting weight is about 13lbs heavier than where I am right now - AND - I used to be 133lbs heavier than where I am right now. He was talking to ME.

It was at that moment I decided that's what I needed to do. I needed to make that commitment to myself right then and I needed to see it through. I needed something to motivate me to keep going every day while I was starting this new habit. I needed something so motivational that no matter what I would make sure I got in those 90 minutes a day.

So I started the Facebook Motivational Workout Program. I started out posting my intention - 45 min cardio / 45 min strength training 6x a week, then each day I post to Facebook when I complete my 45 minutes of cardio and 45 minutes of strength training in a post like:

Day 22 Complete! 45 min cardio / 45 min strength training - WOOT!

I am now on Day 23 and I haven't missed a workout day!

I went to NYC Thursday - Saturday of this past week and I wasn't even going to let that deter me from getting in my workouts. I worked out every day of the trip.

The simple idea of having to post to Facebook that I couldn't find 90 minutes in a full day to devote to me, my health and my well being is a mortifying thought - so I have done it every single day even Sunday's which are my day off - but I still post that it is my rest day and all that I am grateful for in the week that my body and mind have given me the strength to do this and continue doing this.

This has helped keep me on track and motivate me on days that without that component of accountability I would have easily talked myself out of going down there.

The "Likes" and comments have really helped too. When people you know and love but don't see on a day to day basis can give you that feedback in such an easy way - it is so helpful every day to have that boost of support and encouragement.

If you find that you are having a hard time sticking to your workout, or want a place to track your progress with great feedback try the Facebook program - it works great for me. =)

Do Your Thing

Soul Men (2008) - with Bernie Mac and Samuel L Jackson performing Isaac Hayes - Do Your Thing



Whatever you wanna do, you've got to do your thing.

Love On!

About Water

I spent a day watching BBC health/weight programming on YouTube.

I saw some interesting information about water.

In the past I have learned:

- A person trying to lose weight should drink half of their body weight in ounces of water per day

- Not having enough water in your systems - digestive, muscular, lymphatic, endocrine, cardiovascular, urinary, etc. means that your body will pull moisture from your waste to aid these systems if it does not have enough.

In the videos I was watching I learned two new things:

1.  Water that is consumed alone, on an empty stomach, literally leaves your stomach almost immediately.  The pyloric valve at the end of your stomach doesn't recognize it as food, so it lets it pass immediately.  To illustrate this in one of the episodes they gave two men a meal of broccoli, mushrooms and chicken.  They had them drink a glass of water before consuming the meal.  Then they gave another two guys the same meal (including the water), but all mixed up in a blender, heated and served as soup.

The men who consumed the soup reported being hungry AN HOUR AFTER the men who consumed the water first, then the meal.

So eating soups can help you lose weight and feel full longer.

The pyloric valve at the end of your stomach that closes shut when it senses food in your stomach.  The men who drank the water expanded their stomach, then the water immediately left.  The food came in to the already expanded stomach, the valve closed sensing the food.  The volume of the food didn't even even fill half of the space where the water had expanded the stomach.

For the men who ate the soup, the valve closed immediately on sensing the soup, and the stomach expanded and kept all of the contents in the stomach.

2.  In another episode, they had two twins.  One consumed 2 liters of water per day, the other took in no water for  a week.  Their skin levels were tested for elasticity, dryness, etc. before and after the week.  The results showed no difference between the girls.  It appears that 80% of the water that our body uses comes from the foods we eat - further supporting the soup theory above, and further supporting the idea that soups could really help someone lose weight and feel full while they are losing weight.

Good stuff! =)

What after-effect do you leave in your wake?

When people encounter you, what impression are they left from their interactions? 

I was a little cranky about two weeks ago because my workout was starting later than I had intended, I hadn't had breakfast yet or any caffeine.  I am trying to make sure that I work out before eating breakfast so I am drawing from the fat on my thighs for energy and not from the meal I just ate.  To top it off I had a really hard time falling asleep the night before thoughts just keep coming in and out of my brain on things I hadn't thought about in over a decade, and things that definitely didn't need my mental attention at 3am. 

Just before my workout my awesome niece had texted me asking for some help with something and I spent the time texting how I was cranky b/c I hadn't had breakfast, was late to work out, etc. but that I would text her when I was done so I could help her.

Now what have I transferred to her in that exchange?  What impression have I left her of me at that moment?  Was it really necessary for me to tell her all of those things and transfer that mood to her when she could be having a totally awesome day?

I saw this on Twitter:   You know when someone means a lot to you when their mood can easily affect yours.

That made me think about a time when I wasn't as happy as I am in my life right now - much more extreme than that exchange on text message.  There was a time when I would take any opportunity to pull someone/anyone into a bad mood that I was having.  If I were tired and frustrated, I would take out that aggression and frustration on anyone around me.  I would talk to them with angst and annoyance.  I would give them quick, quip answers to their questions and treat them with a level of disrespect.  I would do this mostly to the people closest to me, ultimately the ones that I subconsciously knew would put up with it.

I know I am much better than I used to be, because I am more happy and respectful of those closest to me.  I have apologized about a thousand times for my past behavior, and I try every time to make up for what I have done to those closes to me, but it can be easy to slip back into that behavior or cause a chain reaction with an interaction we have even had with a stranger and pass that on to a loved one.

Today, give a stranger one of your smiles.  It might be the only sunshine he sees all day.  ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Want some more kindness quotes?  Click here.

Dr Oz Tips - Detox to Break Your Sugar & Fat Addiction

Excess Sugar and Fat in our system can affect your body just like cocaine. Effects can include mood swings and binge eating.

If you eat too much, it will block the formation of leptin in your system which tells you that you are satisfied. Without leptin, no matter how much you eat you will continue to feel hungry.

How do you detox your body off of fat and sugar?

Three steps =

1. Restore your liver with antioxidants. Use broccoli, cauliflower, radishes and cabbage - cruciferous vegetables. Also add Allium vegetables - onion, garlic, leeks.

2. Add Supplements - Chromium picolinate can help withdrawls from sugar. Vitamin B Complex can help you with cravings for fats and sugars. It can boost serotonin levels in your brain which will make you happier, and more satisfied. Vitamin B should be in your weight loss plan every day.

3. Four to One ratio of white meat to red meat in your diet. So red meat at maximum of every fourth meal. Add 3 servings of fruits per day - deeply colored fruits are great antioxidants and give lots of vitamins into your daily diet.