Sunday, July 22, 2012

It's time to stand up...

Ever since I can remember I have loved to perform.  Aside from my daily dramatics with my friends and family my entire school career was filled with music and theater performances.

- 3rd grade when I had a solo singing "You Can't Get A Man With A Gun" from the musical Annie Get Your Gun
- 4th grade I sang "Kids" from Bye Bye Birdie as a duet with a classmate.  I had on my Mom's house coat, a wig with rollers in it, a kerchief and huge slip on shoes.
- 5th and 6th Grade I was in the All-State Chorus and we performed several concerts including at the State Capitol.
- 7-9th I was in the choir and small groups.
-10-12th I was in the choir and small groups including a quartet with three close friends.  I went to a summer choir camp at Bemidji State University.  I was also in several theater productions (Animal Crackers, Sound of Music, Bette & Boo's Wedding) as well as participating in Speech Club.  As a senior in Speech I would compete in the Humorous category and advance to the Nationals in Golden, CO and end up placing 100th in the nation.
- In college I would continue to be in choir, I was the choir manager for a few years as well as participating in theater productions.

Then... life happened.  I took a few improv classes just for fun, but I haven't returned to the stage.

Now with my new found outlook on life that has included an overhaul between my ears and one on the scale I have started to really itch for a creative and artistic outlet.  Something that will put me back on the stage, to entertain and perform.  Given my current schedule I just don't think that I could make the commitment to a theater production... and so the best thing I could think that would rely on just me, and fit within my hours... stand up comedy.

I toyed with the idea of doing stand up for a few years now.  Especially when Kate (my niece) and I were living together the idea was very strong.  Kate is funnier than I am.  However, Kate has no interest in being on stage.  I thought if we could combine our powers we could come up with something really promising.  I have talked to Kate about this over a dozen times in the last two years, but I haven't really done anything to make it happen.

Earlier this year I had the opportunity to stand on the stage at the Jazz at Lincoln Center in NYC as a prep for our Upfront presentations.  It was a few of us and we were getting a tour of the backstage and stage area and an explanation of where everyone would enter/exit and be seated.  I don't remember a word that Arielle said while we were on that stage.  I was up in my own head relishing the rush of the comfortable feeling of standing on that stage looking out at the audience seats, the light and sound guys in the booth and knowing... I was home.

I have thought about that moment easily a thousand times since that day.  I am now taking actions to make that happen.

I have set up a system for collecting and refining on stage material.  I have enlisted the brilliant and funny Kate to help me.  I am going to local clubs to get a feel for the audience, and see what I can/can't get away with in my material.  My goal is to have a polished 8 min set ready to go in three months and then find some places to perform and see how I do.

Exciting!

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Derailing the pain train...

The starting point to my path of delays and derailment is when I start the "pain train" - as long as I am pulling around the car about how I didn't work out today I may as well add the car about how my dog needs a bath, my house is dirty, my yard needs to be mowed, the neighbors must think I am trashy, I could have been X weight by now, I should have taken better care of my __________, I forgot to take my vitamins, my windows are dirty, and on and on. Next thing I feel hopeless because I have belittled myself of all of these things I shoulda/coulda/woulda done if I were just a "better person".

The power of the mind in weight loss was recently magnified to me as I watch the Extreme Makeover: Weight loss Edition episodes. When Chris Powell takes them on their first workout his goal is to mentally break them and put them into a situation where they either have to fight through it, or they will quit and walk away. When it gets really rough you can see their eyes start to glaze over and you know that voice in their head has started... you can't do this, what the hell were you thinking, you better walk out of here right now, he is trying to hurt/injure you, this is impossible.... and that voice is SO LOUD... they can't hear Chris screaming at them right next to them encouraging them to do it, get up, they CAN do this, finish it, do the last rep, move on and SUCCEED at this! That inner strength, to be your own Chris Powell, to be your own life coach, your inner Jillian/Bob, to know that your body will do SO MUCH MORE than what your mind falsely thinks you can do is something we have to rely on every day when we make decisions about our journey and ultimately our successes and our not as successful moments on our personal journey.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

No Excuses

Biggest Loser is back.  Originally being the program to motivate me to start making my change in January 2010, now it is January 2012 and this seasons "theme" seems to be speaking directly to me (and I am sure almost everyone else out there who wants to make a weight/health/lifestyle change)... NO EXCUSES.

I have no excuse for my absence from here, from Spark People or from my routine.  I could tell you that I was working too hard, or that I didn't have time, I was exhausted at the end of the day, etc.

The reality is.. I stopped making myself a priority.

I kept on my organic/clean eating for the most part.  I definitely would stray from my rule of organic only here and there during the holidays, during a stay at a friends house, when some yummy holiday treats came into the office, etc.  But on a day to day basis I was eating the same as I was before.

Where I was really lacking, is the area where I usually struggle.. and that is with the fitness.

I have noticed a pattern of people on the Biggest Loser site and Spark People as I read people's blogs, see their patterns of behavior, etc.  On an individual level, people either "get" the fitness, and struggle with the food; or the "get" the food and struggle with the fitness.  I am definitely the later.  When you can make both work - that is when you really see success.

During the later half of 2011 I ate as I was when I was working out, BUT I wasn't working out anymore.  So now I am 30 lbs up from my lowest weight which I registered in May at 229.  I then went to 240 in June, back to 233 in August (started working out again), and then back up to my current 259.

The result?
- 30lb weight gain
- My clothes don't fit me as well anymore and some items that I had don't fit at all.
- I feel winded after doing a fraction of things I used to be able to do
- I overall feel less healthy.  Less motivated to do anything outside of work and sleep.

Here are the things that I stopped doing and now I am going to restart as the lack of these items had a huge impact on my weight gain:

- Log my food into Spark People every day
- Stay within my calorie range + working out
- Do 90 minutes of fitness 6 days a week - I am WORTH this time investment in myself
- 7 hours of sleep at night
- Two cups of caffeine tea per day (no creamer / 1 tsp raw organic sugar)

Goal:
The first goal will be to get to 225.  This will be 4lbs less than my lowest, and back to my 6th grade weight.

I will not beat myself up for this.  I am a work in progress, a recovering food addict, and I will make this work.

No Excuses.

=)