It's time to stand up...

Ever since I can remember I have loved to perform.  Aside from my daily dramatics with my friends and family my entire school career was filled with music and theater performances.

- 3rd grade when I had a solo singing "You Can't Get A Man With A Gun" from the musical Annie Get Your Gun
- 4th grade I sang "Kids" from Bye Bye Birdie as a duet with a classmate.  I had on my Mom's house coat, a wig with rollers in it, a kerchief and huge slip on shoes.
- 5th and 6th Grade I was in the All-State Chorus and we performed several concerts including at the State Capitol.
- 7-9th I was in the choir and small groups.
-10-12th I was in the choir and small groups including a quartet with three close friends.  I went to a summer choir camp at Bemidji State University.  I was also in several theater productions (Animal Crackers, Sound of Music, Bette & Boo's Wedding) as well as participating in Speech Club.  As a senior in Speech I would compete in the Humorous category and advance to the Nationals in Golden, CO and end up placing 100th in the nation.
- In college I would continue to be in choir, I was the choir manager for a few years as well as participating in theater productions.

Then... life happened.  I took a few improv classes just for fun, but I haven't returned to the stage.

Now with my new found outlook on life that has included an overhaul between my ears and one on the scale I have started to really itch for a creative and artistic outlet.  Something that will put me back on the stage, to entertain and perform.  Given my current schedule I just don't think that I could make the commitment to a theater production... and so the best thing I could think that would rely on just me, and fit within my hours... stand up comedy.

I toyed with the idea of doing stand up for a few years now.  Especially when Kate (my niece) and I were living together the idea was very strong.  Kate is funnier than I am.  However, Kate has no interest in being on stage.  I thought if we could combine our powers we could come up with something really promising.  I have talked to Kate about this over a dozen times in the last two years, but I haven't really done anything to make it happen.

Earlier this year I had the opportunity to stand on the stage at the Jazz at Lincoln Center in NYC as a prep for our Upfront presentations.  It was a few of us and we were getting a tour of the backstage and stage area and an explanation of where everyone would enter/exit and be seated.  I don't remember a word that Arielle said while we were on that stage.  I was up in my own head relishing the rush of the comfortable feeling of standing on that stage looking out at the audience seats, the light and sound guys in the booth and knowing... I was home.

I have thought about that moment easily a thousand times since that day.  I am now taking actions to make that happen.

I have set up a system for collecting and refining on stage material.  I have enlisted the brilliant and funny Kate to help me.  I am going to local clubs to get a feel for the audience, and see what I can/can't get away with in my material.  My goal is to have a polished 8 min set ready to go in three months and then find some places to perform and see how I do.

Exciting!

Derailing the pain train...

The starting point to my path of delays and derailment is when I start the "pain train" - as long as I am pulling around the car about how I didn't work out today I may as well add the car about how my dog needs a bath, my house is dirty, my yard needs to be mowed, the neighbors must think I am trashy, I could have been X weight by now, I should have taken better care of my __________, I forgot to take my vitamins, my windows are dirty, and on and on. Next thing I feel hopeless because I have belittled myself of all of these things I shoulda/coulda/woulda done if I were just a "better person".

The power of the mind in weight loss was recently magnified to me as I watch the Extreme Makeover: Weight loss Edition episodes. When Chris Powell takes them on their first workout his goal is to mentally break them and put them into a situation where they either have to fight through it, or they will quit and walk away. When it gets really rough you can see their eyes start to glaze over and you know that voice in their head has started... you can't do this, what the hell were you thinking, you better walk out of here right now, he is trying to hurt/injure you, this is impossible.... and that voice is SO LOUD... they can't hear Chris screaming at them right next to them encouraging them to do it, get up, they CAN do this, finish it, do the last rep, move on and SUCCEED at this! That inner strength, to be your own Chris Powell, to be your own life coach, your inner Jillian/Bob, to know that your body will do SO MUCH MORE than what your mind falsely thinks you can do is something we have to rely on every day when we make decisions about our journey and ultimately our successes and our not as successful moments on our personal journey.

No Excuses

Biggest Loser is back.  Originally being the program to motivate me to start making my change in January 2010, now it is January 2012 and this seasons "theme" seems to be speaking directly to me (and I am sure almost everyone else out there who wants to make a weight/health/lifestyle change)... NO EXCUSES.

I have no excuse for my absence from here, from Spark People or from my routine.  I could tell you that I was working too hard, or that I didn't have time, I was exhausted at the end of the day, etc.

The reality is.. I stopped making myself a priority.

I kept on my organic/clean eating for the most part.  I definitely would stray from my rule of organic only here and there during the holidays, during a stay at a friends house, when some yummy holiday treats came into the office, etc.  But on a day to day basis I was eating the same as I was before.

Where I was really lacking, is the area where I usually struggle.. and that is with the fitness.

I have noticed a pattern of people on the Biggest Loser site and Spark People as I read people's blogs, see their patterns of behavior, etc.  On an individual level, people either "get" the fitness, and struggle with the food; or the "get" the food and struggle with the fitness.  I am definitely the later.  When you can make both work - that is when you really see success.

During the later half of 2011 I ate as I was when I was working out, BUT I wasn't working out anymore.  So now I am 30 lbs up from my lowest weight which I registered in May at 229.  I then went to 240 in June, back to 233 in August (started working out again), and then back up to my current 259.

The result?
- 30lb weight gain
- My clothes don't fit me as well anymore and some items that I had don't fit at all.
- I feel winded after doing a fraction of things I used to be able to do
- I overall feel less healthy.  Less motivated to do anything outside of work and sleep.

Here are the things that I stopped doing and now I am going to restart as the lack of these items had a huge impact on my weight gain:

- Log my food into Spark People every day
- Stay within my calorie range + working out
- Do 90 minutes of fitness 6 days a week - I am WORTH this time investment in myself
- 7 hours of sleep at night
- Two cups of caffeine tea per day (no creamer / 1 tsp raw organic sugar)

Goal:
The first goal will be to get to 225.  This will be 4lbs less than my lowest, and back to my 6th grade weight.

I will not beat myself up for this.  I am a work in progress, a recovering food addict, and I will make this work.

No Excuses.

=)

Let's have some Kiwi Berries...

Kiwi Berries or Baby Kiwi's or Passion Poppers as they are called here are a new treat that I have found at the Farmer's Markets and at Harris Teeter's.  They are cute, delicious and good for you.  I take off the little top, and the hard base piece on the bottom and pop the whole thing into your mouth.  It is an explosion of Kiwi taste, most times much sweeter than their adult counterparts.  Enjoy!

Just My Size

Now that I am back to work I needed some nylons/tights. I had a brand new pair of tights that I had owned for over 15 years that I wore for the first two weeks of work, but after several washings and some runs in the abdomen part - they were literally falling off of me and had to be tossed. I really wanted to get new tights at Lane Bryant but I just wasn't in the mood to head over there (way past my house). So I stopped at CVS.

Over fifteen years ago I used to by Just My Size nylons/tights at CVS. Now as I stand here in the isle and look at the package I was SO disappointed. In my head, "what do you mean the weight cut off is 300? I am 330.. I wonder if they will fit. Those ones that I bought from Target are too tight in the upper leg, but I think that they were a smaller range than these. WTH, did the Just My Size people not get the memo that we are a heavier nation now than we were 15 years ago? Why wouldn't they make these bigger instead of making them smaller..." I put the package back on the shelf.

Brow furrowed and scowling face - I was ticked off. I really didn't want to go to Lane Bryant but I was worried that they would be too tight given that I was about 30lbs over the 300 / 5'7" max size on the back of the box. As I started to walk to the front of the store feeling very defeated I realized.. omg.. I am 233lbs! Not 333lbs!

With a huge grin, and literally laughing out loud I go back to the shelf and grab a few boxes and head up to check out.

Clearly after losing these last 69lbs in a year my brain hasn't caught up with my body. =)

Let's make a wrap...

Healthy Wrap

A tortilla or Mediterranian wrap is my go-to food.  I generally eat this once or twice per day.

Nutritional Breakdown looks something like this:

Calories: 458

Carbs: 48

Fat: 11

Protein: 53

Start with a whole wheat organic tortilla wrap, or an organic Mediterrian wrap.

Place a cooked meat of choice on one half of the wrap.

Put blue cheese, feta cheese, or any cheese of your liking on top of the meat.  If you aren't going to put cheese, then add the meat when the wrap is half-way done heating or your meat will dry it out.

I generally put the wrap on a pan in the cold oven and then set the temp for 350.  Generally by the time it pre-heats the wrap is lightly toasted and ready to remove from the oven.  You want your wrap lightly toasted enough so you can still fold it in half after you have placed all of your ingredients inside.  If you toast it too long, it will crack and shatter once you start to fold or pick it up.

I top my wraps with:

- My homemade salsa goes on the meat/cheese combo

- Carrot slices go on top of the salsa

- Fage greek yogurt goes on the top half of the wrap

- Dijon mustard goes on top of the yogurt

- Alfalfa sprouts go on top of the mustard/yogurt

Fold in half and get ready for a flavor explosion.

Enjoy!

Veggie - Carrots, Tomatoes, Onions, Sprouts and Dijon Mustard on a Toasted Mediterranean Flat Bread
 

I didn't have any salsa made that day, so I just used the tomatoes in its place.

Chicken, Carrots, Tomatoes, Dijon Mustard, Greek Yogurt, Sprouts on a Mediterranean Flat Bread

Chicken, Blue Cheese, Mexi-Mix Cheese, Dijon Mustard, Tomatoes, Sprouts on a Mediterranean Flat Bread.

Turkey, Salsa, Greek Yogurt, Dijon Mustard and Sprouts on a Whole Wheat Organic Toasted Tortilla.

Let's make some chicken...

Chicken Breasts

Chicken is great to have on hand.  Add it as meat to a sandwich or wrap, add it to the top of a salad, add it to soups - it is versatile and when prepared ahead of time and frozen - you can have chicken available anytime.

I buy my chicken at the Bethesda Farmer's Market.  There is a meat guy there on Saturday's only and he sells some amazing chicken breasts.  I have to do a big of work when I get them home to remove the excess fat and trim off the tenderloins, but it is worth it.

For this simple recipe you will need:

Chicken breasts - fat removed and tenderloins removed.  I generally bake the breasts and freeze the raw tenderloins for my husband for when he makes his famous chicken curry.

Toppings of your choice can include:

- Lemon Juice

- Lime Juice

- Mrs. Dash or another herb sprinkle

- Dijon Mustard and Garlic Spread

- Plain

- or any other topping of your choice

Spray Pam or lightly smear the bottom of a pan with extra virgin olive oil.  I generally put aluminum foil on the bottom of my pan first.

Place breasts in the pan and cover, smear or sprinkle the topping of your choice.  I bake about 18 breasts in a single day, then I don't have to do it again for a month, so I will do a variety of flavors.

Bake at 350 for 25 minutes.   This time/temp combination creates a chicken breast that is not overdone, is juicy on the inside and is a great addition to any meal.  

These are Lemon Pepper Breasts

Be sure to let the breasts rest at least 15 - 20 minutes before cutting into them.  I generally let mine rest at least 30 minutes, then freeze them whole without cutting.  If you cut into them too early (while they are still hot) all of the juice runs out of them and they quickly become dry.  I take them out of the freezer a day before I want to eat/consume them.  I reheat by cutting into desired thickness of slices and reheating in a pan.  Or, I will add them to an already hot dish (like soup), or just slice them cold and reheat just a little before adding to a salad.

Enjoy!